What an indignity that Josh PrickDaniels continued to runs Stevan Ridley to “salt the game away” (up 28-0 against a hapless, all-asphalt Miami defense) on the final two drives, when Welker was only two catches away from history. As much as I enjoy watching Belichick and his hyper-white team, the “Patriot Way” can be frustrating at times. Despite PrickDaniel’s best efforts to make the mostly-ineffective Aaron Hernandez and Brandon Lloyd the focal points of the offense this season, and regardless of drawing bracket coverage over the middle for most of the year, the
“Patriot Missile,” Wes Welker, finished with 118 catches for 1,354 yards and 6 TD’s…
CAPTION: 8 Catches, 94 Yard, TD
Always-dynamic and permanently-underused slashing scatback, Danny Woodhead (who has the skillset of Marshall Faulk or Brian Westbrook), was fantastic against the Dolphins, totalling 97 yards on 8 touches. Danny has really been heating up of late in his limited 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] down role, but could certainly carry the load himself. With Ridley prone to fumble in big moments, let’s hope Woodhead can shine in the playoffs…
CAPTION: Woodhead - Embarrassing Blacks for a Living
Safety Steve Gregory notched his 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] interception of the season and Trevor Scott applied good pressure, but Rob Ninkovich suffered an unfortunate hip injury. With two weeks to mend, let’s hope Ninkovich (58 tackles, 8 sacks, 5 FF, 4 FR on the season) returns for the playoffs. If not, Scott could become a full-time starter…
CAPTION: Trevor Scott
The NFL’s best tight end, Rob Gronkowski, returned to action in a limited role (2 catches, 42 yards, TD), finishing with 11 scores on the season, despite missing 5 games. With two weeks fully heal, he should be locked and loaded for the playoffs…
CAPTION: Gronk Returns to Score 11[SUP]th[/SUP] TD
The NFL’s hottest squad, the White Broncos, continued their winning ways with a thorough pounding of International Sex Symbol, Romeo Crennel, and his blasé gaggle of black defenders. The NFL’s receiving touchdown king, Eric Decker, scored his 13[SUP]th[/SUP] of the season, and notched his first 1,000-yard campaign…
CAPTION: Decker - 85 Catches, 1,064 Yards, 13 TD’s in 2012
In the Chiefs-Broncos clash, Manning threw for 304 yards, 160 yards of which (52%) went to white receivers (Decker, Stokley, Tamme, Dreessen, and Hester). Speaking of Hester, Casteon-Norv’s forgotten white runningback shined again with 7 carries for 55 yards (8 YPC). With McGahee injured, Hillman a rookie, and Moreno one of the worst starting backs in the NFL, Hester could be a factor come the playoffs…
CAPTION: Hester’s Reincarnation
The Bronco’s defense is rivaled only by the Texans and Vikings in terms of fairness to white players, with Jim Leonhard, Keith Brooking, Mitch Unrein, Justin Bannan, and super-tough rookie, Derek Wolfe…
CAPTION: 40 Tackles, 6 Sacks, 2 PD in 2012
Of course, I’m glad the Packers lost (eliminating Coughlin's Negro-tastic Giants), with Jordy Nelson returning to form (87 yards, TD). Despite missing 6 games, Nelson finished the season with 49 catches, 745 yards and 7 TD’s…
CAPTION: Nelson During 73-Yard Catch
With the emergence of James Jones (a nice, well-mannered family man with an extra-black wife), it was great to see Jordy regain his starting position. Hopefully the NFL’s second-best outside receiver (after Calvin Johnson) can become the main cog of the Green Bay offense going forward.
Naturally, I’m glad the Vikings made the playoffs. Sure, their offense is a bit Casteon outside of Kyle Rudolph and the never-used Toby Gerhart and Rhett Ellison, but their defense (Allen, Robison, Smith, Greenway) is one of the fairest in memory…
CAPTION: Harrison Smith Shines in Rookie Campaign
Although his team isn’t making the playoffs this season, I thought it would be good to mention that rookie LB, Luke Kuechly, registered another 13 tackles against the Saints, giving this young playmaker 164 stops (to go along with 2 Ints, 1 Sack and 8 PD) on the season…
CAPTION: Kuechly Effortlessly Leads NFL in Tackles
At 21 years old, Kuechly may already be the most instinctual linebacker in the NFL. Of course, his jaw-dropping rookie stats aren’t too surprising, as he came within 13 tackles of tying Northwestern legend Tim McGarigle’s all-time NCAA record 545 stops. Keep in mind that Kuechly accomplished this in only three seasons of work at Boston College!
Does anyone remember Lions/Bills/Browns LB, Chris Speilman? In the 1994 season, Spielman supposedly set a single-season NFL record when he registered 195 total tackles. With a full season of starting, the human-tackling-device, Kuechly, could challenge Spielman’s mark…
CAPTION: Spielman - Single Season Tackle Saulton
Despite Dallas’ unfortunate loss, it was nice to see Jason Witten register his 4[SUP]th[/SUP] 1,000-yard season. Back in 2007, it was Witten who became the first white TE since Mark Bavaro (circa 1986) to eclipse 1,000 yards. The reliable veteran ushered-in the likes of Dallas Clark, Rob Gronkowski, Owen Daniels, Greg Olsen, Brent Celek, and Heath Miller...
CAPTION: 110 Catches, 1,039 Yards, 3 TD’s in 2012
With the playoffs games now set, the “ideal” scenario in the AFC would be for the Colts to beat Baltimore and Houston to beat Cincinnati…which would send
“Jiggaboo John” Harbaugh and
“Malcolm X” Lewis’ chocolate-showered squads home. In that case, Houston would draw New England and Denver would play Indianapolis (a truly ironic matchup pitting Manning against his former team). Of course, a Patriots-Broncos clash for the AFC Championship game would be a fantastic contest. I’m partial to New England (7-8 white offensive starters, 10-11 white starters overall) and would love to see Welker redeem himself in the Superbowl, but I’d be nearly as satisfied if Manning’s lily-white offense (albeit with two black sumos at OT) reached the Superbowl.
Green Bay over Minnesota would be slightly preferred in the NFC, but only if Jordy Nelson, John Kuhn, and Tom Crabtree are heavily featured. I’ll admit that I’d prefer
“Black Russell Terror” Wilson and
“Plantation Pete” Carroll over Washington, but either option would be quite nauseating. In the next round of the NFC playoffs, of course, it’s preferred that
“Manic Depressive Wigger Jim” Harbaugh's San Francisco Chocolateers lose immediately and that Atlanta makes the NFC Championship game, and then loses to either Green Bay or Minnesota...
CAPTION: A Meeting of C.O.W.S (“Creepy Old Wigger Society”)
In my opinion, the “worst case scenario” Superbowl would be Cincinnati VS. Seattle/Washington.