Thrashen, your New England Patriots updates are of high quality and like the rest of your posts, are a joy to read. If the scenario above comes to fruition, that would have to be the Whitest offense in 30+ years, no? What a pleasure it would be to watch that blizzard wallop the tar hued defenses of the Affirmative-action Football Conference. The biggest obstacle standing in the way is the health of Edelman, Gronk and Ballard. I will temper my enthusiasm and predict NE will start 9 Whites on offense come week 1.
Thanks, man, your posts are highly enjoyable (not to mention informative, creative, intelligent, humorous) as well.
The only plausible explanation for the talented, yet habitually-injured Edelman to be championed as a likely candidate for the starting “X” receiver role is that rookie WR, Aaron Dobson (2[SUP]nd[/SUP] round draft pick), and free agents Michael Jenkins and Donald Jones, haven’t shown much proficiency in the role thus far. Dobson, who has been injured during mini-camp, actually flashed some talent while at Marshall, but he seems like a Grade-A Bonehead of the DeSean Jackson genotype who is unlikely to grasp New England’s complicated offensive scheme, particularly in his first season…
[video=youtube;iWKEeWi2tEM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWKEeWi2tEM[/video]
CAPTION: Dumb Drop by Dullardly Dobson
Michael Jenkins is a plodding, unexciting, long-time Afro-scrub who, despite his multitude of perceptible shortcomings, has started nearly 80 games with the Falcons and Vikings over the better part of a decade. In all those starts, I don’t believe he’s ever logged a single 100-yard game. Former Buffalo Bill, Donald Jones, is a slot receiver with legitimate straight-line speed but little else that stands out. I predict that Jenkins will be cut and Amendola, Edelman, Jones, Dobson, Boyce, and Slater will make the 53-man roster...
CAPTION: Edelman Playing QB at Akron
Many thanks for the update on Dennard’s DUI. So how many thugs has this “model franchise” employed?
1) Hernandez - serial murderer, strip club enthusiast
2) Dennard -assaulted a police office and his recent DUI
3) Talib - aggrevated assualt with a deadly weapon, multiple fistfights and battery
4) Haynesworth - face stomping during a game, sexual assault on a waitress, excessive speeding that caused a white man to be paralyzed, multiple fights and traffic violations
5) Blount - sucker punched a white Boise State player after a game in college, then sucker punched white defensive player, Eric Bakhtiari, durng a Titans practice session
6) Dillon - Selling crack, DUI, wife-beating
7) Stallworth - DUI that killed a pedestrian
8) Ochocinco - criminally-annoying, wife-beating
9) Moss - Assaulted a white student in high school, marijuana, attmepted to run over a police officer, violence against women
10) Spikes - PED's, gouged the eye of a player in college, made amatuer porn video and posted online
CAPTION: Haynesworth Face Stomp