Despite their calculated de-whitening program, instituted immediately subsequent to their 2010-2011 Superbowl Championship season, the 2013 Green Bay Packers should still feature nine whites in their starting twenty two. Before chronicling these players, along with the precious few reserves that could also crack the 53-man roster, lest we forgot the “Forgotten White Packers” that have been racially purged over the past three seasons…
Ted Thompson’s 19 White Purge Victims:
QB Matt Flynn
FB Korey Hall
WR Brett Swain
TE Tom Crabtree
G Nick McDonald
LB Brady Poppinga
TE Spencer Havner*
G Daryn Colledge
T Mark Tauscher
T Chad Clifton
C Jason Spitz
LB Matt Wilhelm
C Scott Wells
DE Frank Zombo
S Matt Giordano
LB Brandon Chillar
LB Ricky Elmore
G Caleb Schlauderaff
C Jeff Saturday
*The most egregious of these purges, in my opinion, was TE Spencer Havner. Since his departure, Green Bay’s TE’s (Finley, Quarless, Williams) have been god-awful…
[video=youtube;u5oBuZnAzmM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5oBuZnAzmM[/video]
Green Bay’s premeditated darkening platform hasn’t come without cost, as the 2011 and 2012 installments of the squad obviously lacked the fortitude and discipline required to win even a single meaningful game in the playoffs. They lost to the Giants in the first round of 2011 (following a 15-1 season) before skating past the hapless Vikings (lead by black quarterback Joe Webb) before getting drubbed by the 49ers in 2012.
White Offensive Starters:
QB - Aaron Rodgers
WR - Jordy Nelson
FB - John Kuhn
LT - David Bakhtiari*
LG - Josh Sitton
C - Evan Dietrich-Smith
RG - T.J. Lang
*Although he is part Iranian, I personally consider David Bakhtiari to be white, as he has blue eyes, light skin, and medium brown hair…
WR Jordy Nelson, the son of a Kansas cattle farmer hailing from the “middle of somewhere,” could regain his title of the NFL’s premiere deep threat in 2013, as he was in 2011. When healthy, Nelson is impossible to cover one-on-one, particular on deep routes. Thankfully, the Packers failed to re-sign Greg Jennings, leaving Nelson and the talented Randall Cobb and James Jones as clear cut starters. Having quality receivers starting alongside him should actually help reduce double teams on Jordy…
Kuhn, the criminally underused fullback out of DII Shippensburg, was once a record-setting tailback in high school and college, but has mostly been relegated to blocking for the putrid collection of black running backs that have littered the roster of the past 3 seasons (DuJuan Harris, Ryan Grant, Alex Green, James Starks, Cedric Benson, Dimitri Nance, Brandon Jackson), a handful of predictable goal line carries, and catching short passes out of the backfield. In “emergency duty” during their championship season, Kuhn looked like a powerback in the mold of Marshawn Lynch, BenJarvis Green-Ellis, Jonathan Stewart, or Peyton Hillis. Kuhn, already a fan favorite, could be a juggernaut of pain for opposing defenders, but alas, his talents (like so many other capable white athletes) are wasted in favor of the recently-drafted Eddie “Lard Ass” Lacy and other black scrubs…
CAPTION: Kuhn in the Years Prior to Requisite NFL “Bulk-Up”
Offensive backs-up that could make the team include: QB Graham Harrell, LT Don Barclay, C Garth Gerhart (Toby Gerhart’s younger brother), G Greg Van Roten, T Andrew Datko, and TE Ryan Taylor.
Green Bay’s defensive woes are well-documented, particularly their secondary, which hasn’t featured a regular white starter since Matt Bowen, who had a nice campaign in 2002. In 2003, Bowen moved on to Washington, where he had a great season…
CAPTION: Bowen – The Last White Packers Safety
White Defensive Starters:
OLB – Clay Matthews
ILB – A.J. Hawk
CAPTION: Hawk & Matthews
Defensive backups that could make the team include: Nobody. From 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] string to 4[SUP]th[/SUP] string, there are no other white defenders on the roster.
Projected whites on the 53-man roster: 18 (when including 3 specialists)
Overall, despite their dearth of white defensive talent, Green Bay should be a palatable club, particularly so in the NFC, where the only “white friendly” teams are the Packers, Eagles, Vikings, and to a far lesser extent the Cowboys and Rams. In my opinion, if Nelson is healthy and dominating at WR, I’d love to see this team in the Superbowl.