New England’s drubbing of the “Detroit Darkies” was a nice win, but the very unfortunate involvement/success of the sucker-punching, mudshark-impregnating malcontent-supreme, LaGarrett Blount, was maddening. The Fat Guy was running through gaping holes and scored twice only days after being cut by the Steelers for bad behavior. The recent accomplishments of the undrafted, unwanted Jonas Grey was short-lived in favor of this obese re-tread. Julian Edelman had a nice game receiving (11 catches, 89 yards), but dropped a short TD, had an electrifying punt return TD called back for a ticky-tack block in the back call, and had a 40+ yard reception called back on another rarely-called penalty (I believe it was “illegal hands to the face” on Vollmer). Edelman will need to average 61 yards through the remaining 5 contests to achieve his 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] 1,000-yard season…
CAPTION: Unreal Punt Return Called Back
Danny Amendola had an 81-yard kick return, which was a nice confidence-booster for the little-utilized receiver…
CAPTION: Amendola Angers Awestruck Africans
It wasn’t a great day for Gronkowski (5 catches, 78 yards), but league’s most dominant offensive force had some uncharacteristic drops and was given plenty of attention by the Lions. The big fella will need to average a meager 37 yards through 5 games to nab his 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] 1,000-yard season. If Gronk and Edelman both get over the mark, it’ll be the first time since 2011 (Welker and Gronk) that an NFL team had two white pass-catchers log a 1,000-yard season in the same offense.
The Cowboys game finally showcased the talents of the criminally-underused Cole Beasley. The speedy blonde caught 2 balls for 66 yards and this great TD…
CAPTION: Beasley Burns Uncle Tom's Plantation
Witten also caught a short TD.
The NFL’s whitest team, the Eagles, were once again a bore to watch offensively. Cooper caught 3 for 49, Celek 5 for 38, Ertz 4 for 30, and Casey a 14-yard TD. As Freethinker mentioned, Connor Barwin notched 2 more sacks, giving him 12.5…
In a close win over the Vikings, Jordy Nelson went over 1,000 yards for the 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] time in his career. His longest catch was 14 yards, not exactly what we’re accustomed to from our best overall athlete. Harrison Smith had another nice game (10 tackles, 1 TFL, 1 PD), as did Chad Greenway (9 tackles).
Toby Gerhart had 50 yards on 7 touches, while Denard Robinson fared much worse. You see, this great 1-10 club can’t possibly risk giving Toby more touches, as they’re in contention for the playoffs and every game matters!
It was an unfortunate loss for Houston against the “Brown Bengals,” with Garrett Graham finally having a nice receiving game and JJ Watt logging another 7 tackles, 1 TFL, and 1 PD.
Great to see Lovie’s “Butt Buccaneers” fall to 2-9 against the Bears. I loathe both clubs, but at least Chris Conte had 4 tackles and an INT (his 3[SUP]rd[/SUP])…
Very unfortunate to see Denver slip past the Dolphins (not that I like Miami), but at least Welker had a short TD catch. Denver has ruined what’s left of Welker’s once-stellar career. This former superstar is rarely targeted, set up for multiple concussions, and seems to only run 5-yard routes. Just another reason to detest Denver...
CAPTION: Enjoy Him Now, Before Manning Kills His Career Via Concussions
In other news, Robert Griffin III is a bust. At the ripe old age of 24, Griffin no longer possess even a slight portion of the “world class speed” that made him a track star at Baylor. He’s not elusive in the pocket whatsoever, either, and was sacked 5 times against the 49ers. He certainly can’t throw, either, despite having some undeniably-talented receivers (Jackson and Garcon). After so many failures since his great rookie campaign, his confidence appears to be devastated beyond repair. After this season, he could go the way of fellow Quotablack bust, EJ Manual, who'll likely get released this off-season. This corporate-sponsored string-bean simply can’t play. The immobile, slow-processing Auburn bust, Jason Campbell, was given six comical seasons to prove that he wasn't very good in Washington...but he seemed like a good guy and a far better leader than RGIII. When will this arrogant, immature, injury-prone, white prostitute-marrying clown with tarantula legs for hair be “shut down for year,” as he was last year?
CAPTION: Justin Smith Pummels Twerp
CAPTION: Happier Times Now A Distant Memory for the Gremlin
All in all, not a bad week. I’m hoping for a big game for Bills WR, Chris Hogan, tonight against the Jets.