Thrashen
Hall of Famer
A few weeks ago, I was bestowed the great displeasure of viewing a TV-based movie preview for a film entitled: “That’s My Boy,” the latest Hollywood crib-o-lewdness starring the undeservedly-celebrated (un)funny-man, Adam Sandler, along with hook-nosed-Hebrew newcomer, Andy Samberg. During said 30-second preview, even the most casual observer could piece together the film’s absurdly-implausible and highly-childish “premise” (and I’m employing that term the most outrageously-liberal of manners). From the mind-disintegrating, breathtaking banality I perceived on TV (along with the brief research I performed to make this post more accurate), the plot seemed to begin with Sander’s character, Donny, some 30 years in the past, seated in an elementary school classroom…
CAPTION: Repulsive Little Jewlet, Donny
Young Donny, ugly, buck-toothed, effeminate, and ultra-Jewish as he may appear, inexplicably “scores” with his “hot,” red-headed, gentile teacher, Miss McGarricle (a name carefully selected to emphasize the Irish heritage of the character)…
CAPTION: White Temptress School Teacher
CAPTION: Donny Seduced by White Succubus
They have sexual intercourse in her classroom, resulting in her pregnancy (planting the seed of an ancient malice) and eventual arrest for statutory rape of a minor…
CAPTION: Jüdische Kreaturen
Above, Donny and his (stereotypically Jewish-looking) classmates are seen in the courtroom slapping “high five” when he, a 12-year old boy, is awarded custody of the unborn baby.
Har har, isn’t it all so delightfully-comical?! That white woman not only had to fornicate with a 12-year old, light-skinned sand Negro, but she also lost her job, had to birth his hideous love-child, was sent to prison for decades, and was labeled a pervert for the rest of her life! [Sniffs] What’s that? I think I smell an Academy Award!
As in most all of Sandler’s hyper-ignorant and lame attempts at humor, “Old Donny,” now played by Sandler himself (utilizing that tremendously-annoying, high-pitched voice of his), has grown up to become a broke, lazy, unemployed, surly, gargantuan man-boy, always boozing, ingesting illegal drugs, causing trouble, partying with white hookers, and attending strip clubs…
CAPTION: Donny w/ White Whores
Donny’s son, “Todd” (played by the equally-untalented and never, ever funny Andy Samberg), is now 30 years old, rich, successful, and engaged to be married to (you guessed it) yet another “hot” white chick named “Jamie”…
CAPTION: Shylock w/ White Prostitute Fiancé
Donny, loser that he is, finds out that that he owes the IRS tens of thousands of dollars in back taxes and faces imprisonment. During the course of several “get rich quick” schemes, Donny finds out that his son’s future wife is actually cheating on him. Instead of telling his son the truth, Donny takes “hush money” from his son’s sluttly bride-to-be, essentially saving him from imprisonment. This situation, as always, leaving Donny with the oh-so clichéd “decision” to either keep the money or tell his son the truth. In predictable Hollywood fashion, Donny shreds the check and spills the beans with concern to her cheating. Then, in another hyper-passé “Hollywood ending,” Donny is saved from prison anyway. After breaking up with his cheating fiancé, Todd becomes romantically involved with black stripper, Brei…
CAPTION: Show Interracial Couple, Cue Credits
Oh, and I nearly omitted the best part…somewhere during the film, a black preist presiding over the wedding ceremony, frazzled by the “zany” behavior of Sandler and Samberg, yells out: “WHITE PEOPLE ARE F-CKING CRAZY!"
[The DWF’s clap their unwashed, seal-like hands together, rejoice in the miracle of laughter, then swallow the last morsels of popcorn and racial dignity, and then exit to their left, eagerly awaiting Sandler's subsequent adventure in hilarity].
An enraging movie trailer, if you can stomach it…
[video=youtube;M7438ZmXWi4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7438ZmXWi4[/video]
CAPTION: Repulsive Little Jewlet, Donny
Young Donny, ugly, buck-toothed, effeminate, and ultra-Jewish as he may appear, inexplicably “scores” with his “hot,” red-headed, gentile teacher, Miss McGarricle (a name carefully selected to emphasize the Irish heritage of the character)…
CAPTION: White Temptress School Teacher
CAPTION: Donny Seduced by White Succubus
They have sexual intercourse in her classroom, resulting in her pregnancy (planting the seed of an ancient malice) and eventual arrest for statutory rape of a minor…
CAPTION: Jüdische Kreaturen
Above, Donny and his (stereotypically Jewish-looking) classmates are seen in the courtroom slapping “high five” when he, a 12-year old boy, is awarded custody of the unborn baby.
Har har, isn’t it all so delightfully-comical?! That white woman not only had to fornicate with a 12-year old, light-skinned sand Negro, but she also lost her job, had to birth his hideous love-child, was sent to prison for decades, and was labeled a pervert for the rest of her life! [Sniffs] What’s that? I think I smell an Academy Award!
As in most all of Sandler’s hyper-ignorant and lame attempts at humor, “Old Donny,” now played by Sandler himself (utilizing that tremendously-annoying, high-pitched voice of his), has grown up to become a broke, lazy, unemployed, surly, gargantuan man-boy, always boozing, ingesting illegal drugs, causing trouble, partying with white hookers, and attending strip clubs…
CAPTION: Donny w/ White Whores
Donny’s son, “Todd” (played by the equally-untalented and never, ever funny Andy Samberg), is now 30 years old, rich, successful, and engaged to be married to (you guessed it) yet another “hot” white chick named “Jamie”…
CAPTION: Shylock w/ White Prostitute Fiancé
Donny, loser that he is, finds out that that he owes the IRS tens of thousands of dollars in back taxes and faces imprisonment. During the course of several “get rich quick” schemes, Donny finds out that his son’s future wife is actually cheating on him. Instead of telling his son the truth, Donny takes “hush money” from his son’s sluttly bride-to-be, essentially saving him from imprisonment. This situation, as always, leaving Donny with the oh-so clichéd “decision” to either keep the money or tell his son the truth. In predictable Hollywood fashion, Donny shreds the check and spills the beans with concern to her cheating. Then, in another hyper-passé “Hollywood ending,” Donny is saved from prison anyway. After breaking up with his cheating fiancé, Todd becomes romantically involved with black stripper, Brei…
CAPTION: Show Interracial Couple, Cue Credits
Oh, and I nearly omitted the best part…somewhere during the film, a black preist presiding over the wedding ceremony, frazzled by the “zany” behavior of Sandler and Samberg, yells out: “WHITE PEOPLE ARE F-CKING CRAZY!"
[The DWF’s clap their unwashed, seal-like hands together, rejoice in the miracle of laughter, then swallow the last morsels of popcorn and racial dignity, and then exit to their left, eagerly awaiting Sandler's subsequent adventure in hilarity].
An enraging movie trailer, if you can stomach it…
[video=youtube;M7438ZmXWi4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7438ZmXWi4[/video]
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