Valentine's Day is once again upon us. Naturally, You despise all of this pink and red festooned ******** artistry but - **** it - she expects You to make an effort so You might as well make it. Being a well-bred gentleman, You've wisely decided against reserving a table at some noisy, crowded restaurant bursting with clueless, awkwardly dressed losers who only take their wives or girlfriends out for dinner once a year on February the 14th. Instead, You've invited the delightful Miss _____ to Your home for a "romantic evening"...
The entire gaff has been dusted, vacuumed, mopped, and polished and You've even finally bitten the proverbial bullet and spent a gruelling fifteen minutes of nose-wrinkling labour to scrub away that big, seemingly unconquerable dark yellowish-brown stain blighting the toilet bowl porcelain just above the rear low water mark. The things we ******* do, eh? After all of this effort, the painters had better not be in...
You've invested in a couple of bottles of Bollinger and prepared several courses of fancy grub to the best of Your modest ability (as everyone keeps bleating: "it's the thought that counts..."). This torrent of unusually complicated gastronomic activity has precipitated a substantial level of stress and as Miss _____ isn't due to arrive for another two hours You reach for the Kleenex and get one off for a bit of psychological relief (well, that's as good an excuse as any...). Following a shower You reinvigorate Yourself with a dozen fresh oysters plus three Erecto-Max pills and now You're sitting about in a quandary, struggling to decide upon which songs to select as apposite Euterpean accompaniments to this meticulously planned and frighteningly expensive evening.
Well, I'll bust the horns off this dilemma by recommending that You open with the following song...
W.A.S.P - ANIMAL (F**K LIKE A BEAST):
