2013 Seattle Seahawks

Thrashen

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When the everlastingly-odious Caste Master, “Plantation Pete” Carroll, assembled his diabolically anti-white 2013 Seattle Seahawks squad, I like to envision him attired head-to-toe in one of his famously-homoerotic, neon green nylon track suits, his wrinkle-stitched face decorated with a mindless Corporate grimace, his silver, feathery pompadour tousled from a raucous session of grab-ass with his Afrocentric roster, seated in the office of Jewish billionaire owner, Paul Allen, with white-abhorring GM, John Schneider, seated at his right hand…

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CAPTION: Arch Wiggers (Allen, Schneider, Carroll) Congregate in Africa West

It was Schneider who assembled the lily-white 2010 Green Bay Packers championship roster, but he’s since done a 180-degree turn into the Casteon doldrums, drafting 8/9 blacks in 2010, 7/9 blacks in 2011, 9/10 blacks in 2012, and 8/11 blacks in 2013. It should be noted that aside from 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] round guard John Moffit and 4[SUP]th[/SUP] round WR Kris Durham, all of the whites drafted have been very low picks, most of whom never actually made the 53-man roster. These drafts, along with his nearly all-Afro signings during free agency, were the genesis of this loathsome 2013 crew.

While the Yarmulke-clad Allen surfs his computer for interracial pornography and Tim Wise articles, Carroll and Schneider take turns groveling at his hollowed feet whilst softly whispering the names of the whites starters for the upcoming season.

“Sire…we know you won’t be happy with this unfortunate news...but there will be five whites on the field this season." [Allen raises his fist in anger] My lord, wait! Four of them are on the offensive line!”

Projected Offensive Starters:
LG – Paul McQuiston
C – Max Unger
RG – JR Sweezy
RT - Breno Giacomini*
TE – Zach Miller

*Note – I know that Breno Giacomini is Italian, but he looks a little “off” to me. He looks like a much larger version of Patriots safety, Steve Gregory. Perhaps Breno’s mother had some non-white ancestry? Nevertheless, he has very light skin and certainly passes the “eye test” while in uniform…

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CAPTION: Giacomini

Projected Defensive Starters:
N/A

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CAPTION: No White Vocation on Pete’s Plantation

Fear not, my “12[SUP]th[/SUP] Man” Negro nut-huggers, for several white back-ups and lowly special teamers should crack the 53-man roster in the form of the following players…

WR - Bryan Walters
OG – John Moffit
OT – Mike Person
TE – Luke Wilson
TE – Sean McGrath
QB – Brady Quinn
S – Chris Maragos
P – Jon Ryan
K – Steven Hauchka
LS – Clint Gresham

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CAPTION: Former Charger, Bryan Walters, Seeks Roster Spot

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CAPTION: Reserve Safety / Towel Boy, Chris Maragos

12-13-14 overall white players is becoming the “New NFL Average,” with certain squads such as the Steelers and Patriots influencing the average on the lower and upper ends of the spectrum, respectively. May “Planation Pete,” his beloved Uncle Tom black quarterback “Black Russell Terrier,” and the rest of his PED-abusing troop struggle mightily this season…

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CAPTION: “Time for Your Post-Practice, Deep-Tissue Massage, My Love!”

Of course, this revolting club could post an 0-16 record and still manage to emit the requisite volume of malodorous jockstrap vapors to sufficiently inebriate their racially-obtuse white fanbase into a woozy state of Negro-deifying jubilation…

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CAPTION: 12[SUP]th[/SUP] Circle of Hell

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CAPTION: Lowest Quality Whites Ever Born in World History

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CAPTION: DWFs Engage in Psychosexual Screaming Therapy

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CAPTION: Presumably-Fatherless Seattle Mudshark

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CAPTION: WWII Zio-Vet Turned Negro-Loving Sycophant

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CAPTION: Mindless White Vermin Play Dress-Up

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CAPTION: Random Buffoons Lionize Blacks, Deserve Violent Beating

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CAPTION: The Hollow-Headed, Neon Rabble

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CAPTION: "Chant with me, now, son! -- Negroes! Negroes! Negroes!"
 
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Leonardfan

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Great post Thrashen!

I think Wigger Pete's team is looking at a .500 record at best. Russell Wilson already maximized his "potential" last season, I can't see him improving. I actually believe he will regress.
 

Freethinker

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Another great team preview, Thrash. I can see your disdain for the "Pacific Plantation" has almost rivaled that of "Rooney's Rabble". Using your imagination for a second, would it be conceivable that if "Wigger Pete" and "The Cryptkeeper" mated they could possibly spawn the Antichrist itself? Maybe someday Rooney can hire Carroll as head coach, assuming Tomlin is eventually fired for lack of coaching ability or "lousing up" (like Tom Iron astutely notes that blacks tend to eventually do).

By the way, Brett Swain is also trying out for a spot. If it comes down to him or Walters, I'd go with Walters as I think he has more overall skill and "upside".
 

celticdb15

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Maragos with a pick last night!
 

foobar75

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Brilliant review and 100% spot on. The DWFs in Seattle are now ahead of the NYJ and PIT fans, IMO, as the worst in the league, hands down.

I also agree that Wilson will regress this year and the Blackhawks will miss the playoffs. It will be fun rooting against this team all season.
 

Borussia

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Funny as hell and oh so true

Awesome review Thrashen of the NW Africa Seahawks. Besides starting OL, this team is a BSPN wet dream. Magical mulatto, future 1st ballot HOF and perhaps 'one of the best ever QBs' in Wilson (media dream), all negro defense, WRs, RBs.
Pretty putrid and the de-racinated Seattle DWFs make this team really easy to root against. And plantation pete's sketchy car salesman attitude as well

Not many bright spots at all. Perhaps Maragos and some other White training camp players can lighten this very affletic team a bit this year.
Can't get my hopes up with ultra-Castophile Pete in charge.

More 2013 team reviews Thrashen.
 

davidholly

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The Seahawks are playing a much tougher road schedule this year and a tougher home schedule. I don't think they'll make the playoffs. Hopefully the Rams put those Griffin picks to good use and win their division. That'd be glorious.
 

itsme

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Seahawks acquired QB Terrelle Pryor from the Raiders for a seventh-round draft pick.

If Pryor is going to stick in Seattle, he's going to have to be kept as the No. 3 quarterback. Tarvaris Jackson is locked in as Russell Wilson's top backup on a fully guaranteed deal. Pryor will compete with B.J. Daniels for No. 3 duties.

Wow midget Wilson, Tavaris Jackson, Terrelle Pryor and BJ Daniels all in the same team.:thumbsup: Now trade for the Raiders Punter and sign Justin Medlock to kick and the dream team is complete.:hail:
 

PamelaOC

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Seattle is the world capital of wiggerism and self-hating whiteness. They take pride in the darkness of their team. That's why the Northwest white ethnostate will never work.
 

PHillisFan

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Seahawks acquired QB Terrelle Pryor from the Raiders for a seventh-round draft pick.

If Pryor is going to stick in Seattle, he's going to have to be kept as the No. 3 quarterback. Tarvaris Jackson is locked in as Russell Wilson's top backup on a fully guaranteed deal. Pryor will compete with B.J. Daniels for No. 3 duties.

Wow midget Wilson, Tavaris Jackson, Terrelle Pryor and BJ Daniels all in the same team.:thumbsup: Now trade for the Raiders Punter and sign Justin Medlock to kick and the dream team is complete.:hail:

If I didn't know any better I'd say that was Grambling's qb depth chart.
 

Leonardfan

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They just brought in Jeff Ireland as a draft
consultant. Probably just to make sure everyone on their draft board is black
 

dwid

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If I didn't know any better I'd say that was Grambling's qb depth chart.
I can't believe that Tavaris Jackson is still around. My bet is they are hoping in the event that Wilson gets injured for a few games, that with the running game Seattle has and the defense, is that he can come out looking like a solid qb, but he looked awful with Adrian Peterson in his prime. Even when he came out draft "gurus" thought he was overdrafted, the guy that took him worked with McNabb and thought he had a guy on the same level.
 

Tannehill17

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They just brought in Jeff Ireland as a draft
consultant. Probably just to make sure everyone on their draft board is black

Haven't posted here in a while. I usually don't start following whats going on until the draft but I must say, I laughed out loud when I read this. Of course, the Seahawks didn't need Jeff Ireland to make sure their entire draft board is black, Plantation Pete is doing a fine job with that himself.
 
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