South Regional
1 Florida
The Gators are another high-seeded CF rooting interest. Their two best players are potential first round picks: forwards Thomas Haugh and Alex Condon. The 8-man rotation features two more whites off the bench: Slovenian forward Urban Klavzar and backup center Micah Handlogten. Handlogten wears #3 to represent the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Head coach Todd Golden happens to be Jewish, and three members of the coaching staff are also Jewish. I am reasonably sure that makes them the most Jewish coaching staff in college basketball. However, if Bruce Pearl ever returned to the sidelines, he would surely out-Jewish them all on his own.
16 Prairie View A&M / Lehigh
The Prairie View A&M Panthers are an HBCU and also certainly the worst team in the tournament, barely owning a winning record. The Lehigh Mountain Hawks of the Patriot League are white-friendly, starting three palefaces. Sophomore forward Hank Alvey could play his way into some NIL money next year.
8 Clemson
The Tigers are historically a pretty white-friendly outfit. Down somewhat this year, they start forward Carter Welling, who leads the team in rebounds and blocks while being only one of two players to average double digit points. Welling missed time last week with a knee injury but should probably be good to play. Forwards Jake Wahlin, Nick Davidson, and Chase Thompson generally all see time.
9 Iowa
The Hawkeyes are always a CF favorite despite moving on from longtime coach Fran McCaffery. New coach Ben McCollum has kept things consistent. He brought his best player, Bennett Stirtz, with him from Drake. Lo and behold, Stirtz still thrives at the power conference level, averaging 20 points and 4.5 assists as a shoot-first point guard. Forward Cooper Koch joins him in the starting lineup, Spanish forward Alvaro Folgueiras is the sixth man, guard Tate Sage joins him on the second line, and Brendan Hausen spells Stirtz as the backup PG. That’s five whites in a 9-man rotation with a white superstar.
5 Vanderbilt
The Commodores start forward Tyler Nickel, who has previous stops at UNC and Virginia Tech. He averages 13.5 ppg, but he is very lonely on this roster.
12 McNeese
The McNeese Raiders of McNeese State University are an entirely black squad led by white head coach Bill Armstrong. Armstrong was the former associate head coach to Will Wade at LSU, who has led his all-black NC State team to the play-in game. Stinky!
4 Nebraska
The Cornhuskers have been a revelation this year. Head coach Fred Hoiberg won a split of the Big Ten Coach of the Year award on the backs of six white rotation players, including four starters. They are led by Iowa transfer Pryce Sandfort, the leading scorer, forwards Rienk Mast and Braden Frager, and the coach’s son himself, point guard Sam Hoiberg. Turk Berke Buyuktuncel (I’ll allow it) and junior shooting guard Cale Jacobsen both rotate in heavily. Only two blacks flank them in the box score, and they are generally unimportant contributors.
13 Troy
The Trojans are also a very white-friendly squad, making this matchup absolutely tragic (and surely deliberate). They start four white players and bring a fifth off the bench in a tight 7-man rotation. Their deep bench has a bunch of blacks, making this a genuinely inverse caste roster. White Mexican Victor Valdes and Thomas Dowd are the leading scorers, and brothers Cobi and Cooper Campbell run the backcourt for the Trojans. They’re currently 12.5 point underdogs, but if one of our teams goes home early, it’s ideally to these guys.
6 North Carolina
The Tar Heels are no longer the Tar Babies, as black head coach Hubert Davis turned to Europe with his pride on the line. He bribed Estonian center Henri Veesaar away from Arizona and signed freshman Luka Bogavac from Montenegro. Bogavac has a 20 point performance earlier this month, but Veesaar is even more of a star, sporting season highs of 28 and 17. Even better news from a spectating perspective: future lottery pick and team ball-hog Caleb Wilson is out for the season with a broken thumb, placing even more emphasis on the Euro duo.
11 VCU
The Rams are usually very black, and this year is no exception. Their only white player on the entire roster is a Serbian named Djokovic. He’s probably also the best player on the team. Go figure!
3 Illinois
The (non-Indian) Fighting Illini team hasn’t been whiter in what may be decades. Head coach Brad Underwood hasn’t been consistent but also hasn’t put together a better team in his storied career. The lead player is a black freshman, but the rest of the team compliments his success. Older readers will recognize Andrej Stojakovic by his surname, and after a couple of stops, he’s fitting in as a shooter in the mold of his father. This team has a twin pair of 7’2 brothers, Zvonimir and Tomislav Ivisic, who control the paint on defense and aren’t bad in the post, either. David Mirkovic, from Montenegro, rounds out a very tall starting five. This team will dominate most undersides. Sharpshooter Ben Humrichous got enough NIL money to stay on board as a senior shooter and subs in to drains threes in a limited role.
14 Penn
The Quakers have a triumphant Ivy League tourney journey already thanks to former Duke recruit TJ Power. You must google “TJ Power” to see exactly how he put up 44 points in their overtime Ivy League championship win. They have a lot of white players, but I’m sure they will forgive me for omitting them in this preview as the night is late and they’ll get smoked.
7 St. Mary’s
The Gaels have always been the runners-up in the WCC under head coach Randy Bennett, yet the man fields competitive white-friendly teams in the face of the Gonzaga “juggernaut.” Now that Gonzaga is leaving the conference, there is finally talk that Bennett could make this his last hurrah at this mid-card Goliath he’s been so consistent in building as a white-centric program. This year, Lithuanian import Paulius Murauskas is the top dog. Center Andrew McKeever and guard Joshua Dent round up their 3/5 starting line-up. Freshman guard Rory Hawke plays a lot, too.
10 Texas A&M
The Aggies enjoy a starting presence from Spanish guard Ruben Dominguez, very white. Former Kansas Jayhawks castoff Zach Clemence gets a bit of rotational minutes (16ish) on this squad.
2 Houston
The Cougars are an all-black team led by racist head coach Kelvin Sampson. Mr. Sampson has never signed a white player in his entire life as far as I can tell. He inherited one or two whities when he got the job at Indiana, and he didn’t drive them off completely, but he is the most racist coach in America. No white coach could do what he does. He is good at it though, and has a consistent program-winner at Houston. He’s the most evil villain on this forum and must be shown up at all costs (well, through fair play).
15 Idaho
To sleep, perchance to dream? The Vandals are very white, led by swingman Jackson Rasmussen and guard Kolton Mitchell. Could Rowbury, Joba, and Payne plague their adversaries with outlandish shooting? It’s not likely… yet…
This region is probably the sweet one. Florida, Illinois, and Nebraska are all great choices. St. Mary's, Clemson, Iowa, and even Idaho are lively underdogs. Love to see it!