I don't think I realized if I was hooked or not? When you're going through Cancer treatment with radiation and Chemotherapy to your throat, it affects a lot of things in your body. I was so sick that I literally thought I was going to die. Chemo is poison and it makes you very, very sick. It affects your memory and thoughts and your ability to analyze. It stiffens the joints and muscles in your back and neck. It, the radiation and Chemo fries your saliva glands! I don't have much saliva at all. I have to constantly drink water. I have to drink with almost every bite I take now. You really take for granted your saliva when you have it. Saliva helps with the break down of your food as you swallow. Imagine trying to swallow cardboard with no saliva! There's so many side I affects, but I won't go on.
As I said, I had never taken any kind of drugs before. The first time I took and Oxycodone or Oxycontin, I remember the room started to spin and I told my wife, I didn't like the way it made me feel, but the pain was awful! After I was finished with my treatment, I had to continue taking the drugs until I started to heal. After about 3-4 weeks my doctor took me off the fentanyl patch and I began to feel terrible. Like I'd been hit by a truck. I guess that's when I realized I was hooked, dependent, etc.. So he, my doctor put me back on a patch with less dosage and just gradually had to wean off of the patch. Then, I tried to quit the pills, Oxycodone, etc. cold turkey and the morning after I had quit, I couldn't get out of bed. I mean I did, but again it was like being hit by a truck. I don't know how else to describe it. You just can't function. It was the worse feeling I had ever had in my entire life. It was as bad as the radiation and chemotherapy. So, again I had to gradually wean down from 2 pills every 4 hours to 1 3/4, to 1 1/2, to 1 1/4... all the way down to nothing. It took about 3-4 months and again it wasn't easy. I had to put time in between my dosages also and when you do that, you feel terrible, but you have to suffer through it to get to the next dosage. It would have been easy to go and pop another pill to feel better, but you'll never get off of them unless you do what I did.
In fact, I know a guy in my area who went through the same thing six months before I did and He asked me if I had any left over pills, that he would give me money for them. Obviously, I didn't comply.
So, yes I can see how people can get hooked. Fortunately, I had my faith and strong supportive family to help. Many people may not have the support, but ultimately you just have to make up your mind that it's not going to beat you!
Thanks for the well wishes. There's no doubt that someone here on this site will eventually know or run into someone who gets throat Cancer. It's almost at epidemic proportions now. One of the fastest growing Cancers among men.
If there's ever any way I can help, just let me know.
