Riddlewire
Master
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2007
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- 2,570
It's a well-known fact that the NFL values speed over all other attributes. It doesn't matter if a guy has any football skill. If he runs fast, they want him. This has always been the case at other positions on the field. But recently, this trend has extended to the quarterback position. NFL teams believe they can take a fleet-footed QB and transform a team into an unstoppable offensive machine. So far this practice hasn't worked out well for them, but they keep pushing it.
Since it's a fact that blacks are universally faster than all whites, this policy will guarantee that black football players will soon make up 100% of the starters at quarterback in the NFL.
So, with that in mind, I thought I'd take a look at some of these speedy black quarterbacks who run all over college defenses, just to see what we're in for in the coming years.
Let's start with the #1 rushing quarterback in college football.
This superb dark-skinned balla has run for 738 yards and 7 touchdowns on the season.
Chandler Harnish of Northern Illinois
Oh, my mistake. It seems the leading rusher among quarterbacks in college football is white. Oh well, it's just a statistical aberration. Even a white boy can get lucky running the ball in a crappy conference.
Let's move on.
Ah, here's a real stud. This afflete is currently the #3 rusher in the nation at the quarterback position.
He has run for 670 yards and a mind-boggling 14TD this season.
Collin Klein of Kansas State
Hmmm... That's odd. Klein plays in the Big 12, too. Well, it's obvious that no defense expects him to run, so he keeps surprising them. That's the only way to account for all those yards and touchdowns. Yep, just a fluke.
Ah, but right behind him is a brotha worthy of the legend of Mike Vick. At #4 is...
Taylor Martinez of Nebraska
What the heck is going on here? Are you telling me this tight-hipped cracker has rushed for 636 yards and 9 touchdowns on the season?
Surely a proud African-American rounds out the top 5, though. Right?
The numbers say...
Kriss Proctor of Navy
A freakin' egghead sailor? With 591 yards and 8 touchdowns?
Where are all the dynamic playmaking homeboys from South Florida? Where are the genetically superior speed merchants from Alabama? That's got to be the end of these white running quarterbacks, right?
#8
Alex Gillett of Eastern Michigan
439 yards 3TD
#12
Ryan Aplin of Arkansas State
341 yards 3TD
This is a conspiracy. The whole NCAA is in on it. Just another example of "institutional racism" that our lovely First Lady has spoken of. The spread offense belongs to black quarterbacks. Rivals has clearly confirmed that. There's no way that a bunch of skinny white boys are out-playing and out-running the superior black males that are destined for super stardom as future quarterbacks in the NFL. Someone needs to get to the bottom of this.
Since it's a fact that blacks are universally faster than all whites, this policy will guarantee that black football players will soon make up 100% of the starters at quarterback in the NFL.
So, with that in mind, I thought I'd take a look at some of these speedy black quarterbacks who run all over college defenses, just to see what we're in for in the coming years.
Let's start with the #1 rushing quarterback in college football.
This superb dark-skinned balla has run for 738 yards and 7 touchdowns on the season.
Chandler Harnish of Northern Illinois
Oh, my mistake. It seems the leading rusher among quarterbacks in college football is white. Oh well, it's just a statistical aberration. Even a white boy can get lucky running the ball in a crappy conference.
Let's move on.
Ah, here's a real stud. This afflete is currently the #3 rusher in the nation at the quarterback position.
He has run for 670 yards and a mind-boggling 14TD this season.
Collin Klein of Kansas State
Hmmm... That's odd. Klein plays in the Big 12, too. Well, it's obvious that no defense expects him to run, so he keeps surprising them. That's the only way to account for all those yards and touchdowns. Yep, just a fluke.
Ah, but right behind him is a brotha worthy of the legend of Mike Vick. At #4 is...
Taylor Martinez of Nebraska
What the heck is going on here? Are you telling me this tight-hipped cracker has rushed for 636 yards and 9 touchdowns on the season?
Surely a proud African-American rounds out the top 5, though. Right?
The numbers say...
Kriss Proctor of Navy
A freakin' egghead sailor? With 591 yards and 8 touchdowns?
Where are all the dynamic playmaking homeboys from South Florida? Where are the genetically superior speed merchants from Alabama? That's got to be the end of these white running quarterbacks, right?
#8
Alex Gillett of Eastern Michigan
439 yards 3TD
#12
Ryan Aplin of Arkansas State
341 yards 3TD
This is a conspiracy. The whole NCAA is in on it. Just another example of "institutional racism" that our lovely First Lady has spoken of. The spread offense belongs to black quarterbacks. Rivals has clearly confirmed that. There's no way that a bunch of skinny white boys are out-playing and out-running the superior black males that are destined for super stardom as future quarterbacks in the NFL. Someone needs to get to the bottom of this.
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