Another uncompetitive, prime-time blowout for the NFL. This time, the lopsided affair hurt Jordy Nelson’s numbers (although he has plenty of games left), but helped guys like Janis and Theilen. It would be nice to see these guys get more playing time, but I doubt it, especially in the case of Janis, who is behind Nelson, Cobb, Boykin, and Adams on the depth chart. Theilen might have earned some additional snaps going forward behind Patterson (who really fell off after Week 1), the has-been Greg Jennings, and Jarius Wright…
Of course, it was nice to see Jordy with a 66 yard TD…
As for the remaining game this week, the following outcomes would be preferable…
Panthers-Bears. The Newton-lead Panthers continue to struggle against Chicago, making way for a benching in favor of Derek Anderson. Greg Olsen's stats skyrocket with Anderson at the helm.
Texans-Cowboys. Houston defeats Dallas and Watt, Cushing, Reed, Crick, and Co. continue to dominate. Although, big receiving games for Witten and Beasley would be nice.
Bills-Lions. The Kyle Orton-lead Bills defeat the Lions, racking up huge offensive yardage.
Ravens-Colts. The Colts are slightly whiter, especially with Indy expected to start DE Björn Werner and safety Colt Anderson (starting in place of roid-fiend, LaRon Landry). A good game for TE’s Coby Fleener and Owen Daniels would be the only other bright spots. A Colts win and a career-ending injury to the mudhsark-impregnating, mean-spirited, loud-mouth little bastard, Steve Smith, would be cool with me.
Jacksonville-Pittsburgh. I’m hoping for the best game of Gerhart’s career (and hopefully Borltes can play well, too) against this legendary Caste team. Success for Heath Miller would be great, too.
Saints-Bucs. Blah. I’d rather watch an Adam Sandler movie or attend an ACLU conference than watch this ineptitude-laden, all-Chocolate matchup. “Zulu Drew” does seem to be throwing more to reserve TE, Josh Hill, which is great. Another good game for QB Mike Glennon would make Lovie look even more stupid than he looks.
Falcons-Giants. I wholeheartedly-detest the Giants, and the Falcons feature Biermann and up-and-coming superstar LB, Paul Worrilow. Offensively, I suppose I’ll be rooting for the Falcons reserve TE, Bear Pascoe and that the “Hillis Curse” finally strikes down the blacks who are stealing his playing time.
Rams-Eagles. Of course, let’s hope the Eagles rebound and a great game by Riley Cooper would be the best possible outcome. Celek and Ertz, also. I’m still waiting for some injuries to Philly’s DL/LB corps, which would produce more white starters (Bair, Matthews, Allen, Brahman, Hart). The Rams are down to Laurinaitis on defense and their new QB, the little-known Austin Davis, is an interesting player.
Browns-Titans. Not too much excitement here, folks. TE Jordan Cameron is set to return from injury for Cleveland. WR Kris Durham has yet to play in Tennessee, because their other receivers are so amazing (not). Another good game from Browns OLB, Paul Kruger, would be nice. Likewise for former Iowa product, DT Karl Klug…wait, no, he’s barely seen the field looking like a future star DT as a rookie in 2011.
Cardinals-Broncos. I despise the 20/22 black Broncos, so a Cardinals win would be fine. A good game for Welker would be great, but Manning has too many of his black friends (Sanders, J. Thomas, D. Thomas, Ball) to feed. A good game from Jacob Tamme would be nice, but not anticipated. Likewise with Arizona’s TE corps (Niklas, Carlson, Housler). Honestly, an injury to Manning is the only thing that’ll stop this evil team from succeeding. I'm not rooting for that scenario, but it would'nt break by heart...
Chargers-Jets. Without Woodhead, the only reason to care about SD is their defense (Weddle, Johnson, Lissimore). A 100+ yard game from Jet WR, Eric Decker, would be nice, but not expected with the unathletic, inaccurate dullard, Geno Smith, at the helm.
Chiefs-49ers. Travis Kelce is a budding star at TE, one of the fastest-accelerating big guys you’ll ever see. Of course, with a delicate offensive genius like Reid at the helm, Kelce is not always on the field. Smart move, fatso. It would be nice to see Dan Skuta continue to shine on defense for SF.
Patriots-Bengals. The Pats have traditionally struggled against the Dalton-lead Bengals. If there was ever a time to “right the ship” after a humiliating loss, this would be the perfect moment. The undefeated Bengals look good, but I can envision NE responding in a big way. 100+ yard games from both Edelman and Gronkowski would be awesome, with Amendola finally getting involved with Dobson and Thompkins on the outs with the coaching staff. Ryan Wendell, who became their best offensive lineman after Mankins was traded, should return from injury.
Seahawks-Redskins. [Loud snoring sound] Cousins, TE Zack Miller, and OLB Ryan Kerrigan are the only reasons to care.
