Phall
Master
It's tourney time again, and there are some fine teams and elite talents sprinkled in to root for. I'm happy to write up a preview of the four regions again, although this year might be a little bit lighter on content. I'm just going to reserve a couple of posts at the top of this thread, since it usually only takes until about Page 3 for an erstwhile lurker to ask if anyone has done team breakdowns. Feel free to fill up the thread in the meantime.
East Regional
#1 Purdue Boilermakers
Purdue is a caste favorite and this season's highest-ranked white-centric team. Their star player is the 7'4 gargantuan center Zach Edey, who is some blend of Chinese and northern Baltic by way of Canada but also a pale-skinned caste buster in spirit. My favorite aspect of this Boilermakers team is their two white American freshman point guards Braden Smith and Fletcher Loyer. Those three adjectives in succession are extremely rare for any D1 backcourt, let alone a power conference top tourney seed. Purdue also features big Caleb Furst and wing Ethan Morton in their top seven players and often plays five whites (including Edey) at once. This is a prime opportunity for Matt Painter to ascend into the top echelon of college coaches.
#16 Fairleigh Dickinson Knights (play-in winner)
The Knights have the shortest lineup in D1 basketball this season. That's a tough distinction to hold when drawing Purdue. Their coach, Tobin Anderson, is a positive story. From small-town Iowa, he left a blossoming D2 championship contender to take a shot at the "big time" of FDU, a program that went 4-22 last year. Anderson produced a miraculous turnaround immediately. There are at least a couple of white guys on the roster; maybe the team starts stocking up on country boys next year.
#8 Memphis Tigers
The Fighting Penny Hardaways are generally known for bribing highly-rated black players to sign out of high school and try the college scene for a year or two. They have two white mascots at the end of their bench but are otherwise a traditionally putrid stain on the bluegrass region. Memphis has been hot though to end the season, probably are a bit underseeded, and will likely be a "trendy" upset pick for the Sweet 16. According to my advanced scouting reports, the team lacks composure and (basketball) IQ.
#9 Florida Atlantic Owls
The Owls coaxed 7'1 sophomore Russian Vladislav Goldin to transfer from Texas Tech this year. He's an old-fashioned big with no range who averages 11 points and 6.5 rebounds. FAU also has a fair-skinned Puerto Rican who barely plays and two white walk-ons who never play. Normally, I'd say Find Another University to cheer for, but I do hope they beat Memphis.
#5 Duke Blue Devils
First year coach Jon Scheyer had an excellent debut season, winning both the ACC conference and tournament. Duke is no longer America's Most Hated team (due to Winning While White), having reverted back to recruiting a few white players. Their star man this year is freshman stretch big Kyle Filipowski, projected to be a low-end lottery pick. Scheyer owes Filipowski for much of his success, stepping up where overhyped black bum Derrick Lively busted as a prospect. It's hard to see Duke winning a tough game where this kid isn't in his zone. The Blue Devils also play grad transfer center Ryan Young off the bench for spot minutes. They have four-star freshman SG Jaden Schutt serving a racial apprenticeship on the bench, along with Portuguese center Stanley Borden deep in reserve purgatory. The lone white megastar makes this team a decent watch.
#12 Oral Roberts Golden Eagles
The Summit League tournament winner features natural wonder of the world Connor Vannover, a 7'5 stretch forward who has taken 136 threes this season. Oral Roberts also starts Estonian senior guard Carlos Jurgens, plays junior guard Trey Phipps off the bench, and has a local white walk-on in Jake Shannon.
#4 Tennessee Volunteers
The Volunteers' ensemble cast is led by Uruguayan senior guard Santiago Vescovi, a first-team SEC selection and tournament veteran. Serbian senior forward Uros Plavsic plays a limited role off the bench, and Tennessee gives charity jerseys to three more whites who wave towels from the sideline.
#13 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns
The Sun Belt representatives are entirely black save for a lone white walkon and of course their boomer head coach.
#6 Kentucky Wildcats
John Calipari's traditional all-black team is sullied by former Iowa guard CJ Fredrick, who transferred in 2021 but missed all last season with a hamstring injury. Fredrick starts when healthy but seems to have deferred all scoring responsibilities to his teammates. Although his talents are being squandered, Fredrick got engaged this year to his pretty white basketball-playing hometown girlfriend. It's hard to argue with that sort of life choice. It should go without saying that Kentucky's three white walk-ons are honor roll students who will never, ever take off their warmup pants. Each year during March Madness, it is tradition that one white player on a terrible caste squad comes out of nowhere with the game of his life to defeat a white-friendly opponent. Fredrick is a good candidate for this sort of tragedy.
#11 Providence Friars
The Friars are an all-black team with a black head coach. They have three undersized white underclassman walk-ons who will never see meaningful minutes at the school.
#3 Kansas State Wildcats
Black head coach Jerome Tang coaches an all-black outfit with two corn-fed white mascots at the end of the bench, not on scholarship. You can practically smell the fresh apple pie on the windowsill of this quintessential Americana heartland team.
#14 Montana State Bobcats
The Bobcats won the Big Sky tournament to cap a streak of 8 straight victories. Their roster has 8 whites and 6 blacks. While that seems relatively fair for a D1 program, the statistical breakdown is comical. 6'8 guard Tyler Patterson is the sole white starter but is sixth on the team in scoring. Two other white players see minutes but don't accumulate any real stats. That's a low water mark for any team from the Treasure State.
#7 Michigan State Spartans
Senior PF Joey Hauser is probably the MVP of this ensemble cast, averaging 14.2 points and 6.9 rebounds. Tom Izzo usually keeps one or two whiteys around to avoid designation as a total caste cuck. This year is no different, with promising freshman big Jaxon Kohler nibbling at the end of the competitive minutes. The Spartans also have a young white center on the roster along with Izzo's walk-on son.
#10 USC Trojans
Towering 6'9 senior guard Drew Peterson averages 14-6.5-4.4 per game, as well as a steal (2nd, 1st, 1st, and 2nd on the team). After Peterson, the well runs dry. USC keeps three honkeys at the end of their bench. Will any white player make the rotation next season?
#2 Marquette Golden Eagles
Junior point guard Tyler Kolek is the star of this act. Kolek is one of the top point guards in the nation after being an unrecruited walk-on at George Mason just three years ago. Wow, the scouts must have overlooked him somehow. Marquette plays freshman center Ben Gold for 8 minutes per game and keeps three white guys at the end of their bench. High-yellow headman Shaka Smart is an established anti-white coach with a storied history of completely ignoring white players. He is going to get a lot of credit for riding the Kolek horse that he inherited this season and next; however, he's shown no interest in replacing him with a like commodity.
#15 Vermont Catamounts
Coach John Becker's Vermont team is a relative powerhouse in the America East Conference, reaching the tourney for the fifth time in 12 seasons. They start three whites and have a couple more on the bench. Upperclassmen Finn Sullivan, Robin Duncan, and Matt Veretto are all key contributors. Unfortunately, there is a dearth of white underclassmen on deck for next year's team.
For CF fans, the East quadrant is crap as usual. Purdue is really the only acceptable bracket choice. Duke, Marquette, Tennessee, and USC each have one white star player, and I'd rank those teams in that order of preference. Vermont is a 10.5 point underdog but would be a pleasant Cinderella.
East Regional
#1 Purdue Boilermakers
Purdue is a caste favorite and this season's highest-ranked white-centric team. Their star player is the 7'4 gargantuan center Zach Edey, who is some blend of Chinese and northern Baltic by way of Canada but also a pale-skinned caste buster in spirit. My favorite aspect of this Boilermakers team is their two white American freshman point guards Braden Smith and Fletcher Loyer. Those three adjectives in succession are extremely rare for any D1 backcourt, let alone a power conference top tourney seed. Purdue also features big Caleb Furst and wing Ethan Morton in their top seven players and often plays five whites (including Edey) at once. This is a prime opportunity for Matt Painter to ascend into the top echelon of college coaches.
#16 Fairleigh Dickinson Knights (play-in winner)
The Knights have the shortest lineup in D1 basketball this season. That's a tough distinction to hold when drawing Purdue. Their coach, Tobin Anderson, is a positive story. From small-town Iowa, he left a blossoming D2 championship contender to take a shot at the "big time" of FDU, a program that went 4-22 last year. Anderson produced a miraculous turnaround immediately. There are at least a couple of white guys on the roster; maybe the team starts stocking up on country boys next year.
#8 Memphis Tigers
The Fighting Penny Hardaways are generally known for bribing highly-rated black players to sign out of high school and try the college scene for a year or two. They have two white mascots at the end of their bench but are otherwise a traditionally putrid stain on the bluegrass region. Memphis has been hot though to end the season, probably are a bit underseeded, and will likely be a "trendy" upset pick for the Sweet 16. According to my advanced scouting reports, the team lacks composure and (basketball) IQ.
#9 Florida Atlantic Owls
The Owls coaxed 7'1 sophomore Russian Vladislav Goldin to transfer from Texas Tech this year. He's an old-fashioned big with no range who averages 11 points and 6.5 rebounds. FAU also has a fair-skinned Puerto Rican who barely plays and two white walk-ons who never play. Normally, I'd say Find Another University to cheer for, but I do hope they beat Memphis.
#5 Duke Blue Devils
First year coach Jon Scheyer had an excellent debut season, winning both the ACC conference and tournament. Duke is no longer America's Most Hated team (due to Winning While White), having reverted back to recruiting a few white players. Their star man this year is freshman stretch big Kyle Filipowski, projected to be a low-end lottery pick. Scheyer owes Filipowski for much of his success, stepping up where overhyped black bum Derrick Lively busted as a prospect. It's hard to see Duke winning a tough game where this kid isn't in his zone. The Blue Devils also play grad transfer center Ryan Young off the bench for spot minutes. They have four-star freshman SG Jaden Schutt serving a racial apprenticeship on the bench, along with Portuguese center Stanley Borden deep in reserve purgatory. The lone white megastar makes this team a decent watch.
#12 Oral Roberts Golden Eagles
The Summit League tournament winner features natural wonder of the world Connor Vannover, a 7'5 stretch forward who has taken 136 threes this season. Oral Roberts also starts Estonian senior guard Carlos Jurgens, plays junior guard Trey Phipps off the bench, and has a local white walk-on in Jake Shannon.
#4 Tennessee Volunteers
The Volunteers' ensemble cast is led by Uruguayan senior guard Santiago Vescovi, a first-team SEC selection and tournament veteran. Serbian senior forward Uros Plavsic plays a limited role off the bench, and Tennessee gives charity jerseys to three more whites who wave towels from the sideline.
#13 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns
The Sun Belt representatives are entirely black save for a lone white walkon and of course their boomer head coach.
#6 Kentucky Wildcats
John Calipari's traditional all-black team is sullied by former Iowa guard CJ Fredrick, who transferred in 2021 but missed all last season with a hamstring injury. Fredrick starts when healthy but seems to have deferred all scoring responsibilities to his teammates. Although his talents are being squandered, Fredrick got engaged this year to his pretty white basketball-playing hometown girlfriend. It's hard to argue with that sort of life choice. It should go without saying that Kentucky's three white walk-ons are honor roll students who will never, ever take off their warmup pants. Each year during March Madness, it is tradition that one white player on a terrible caste squad comes out of nowhere with the game of his life to defeat a white-friendly opponent. Fredrick is a good candidate for this sort of tragedy.
#11 Providence Friars
The Friars are an all-black team with a black head coach. They have three undersized white underclassman walk-ons who will never see meaningful minutes at the school.
#3 Kansas State Wildcats
Black head coach Jerome Tang coaches an all-black outfit with two corn-fed white mascots at the end of the bench, not on scholarship. You can practically smell the fresh apple pie on the windowsill of this quintessential Americana heartland team.
#14 Montana State Bobcats
The Bobcats won the Big Sky tournament to cap a streak of 8 straight victories. Their roster has 8 whites and 6 blacks. While that seems relatively fair for a D1 program, the statistical breakdown is comical. 6'8 guard Tyler Patterson is the sole white starter but is sixth on the team in scoring. Two other white players see minutes but don't accumulate any real stats. That's a low water mark for any team from the Treasure State.
#7 Michigan State Spartans
Senior PF Joey Hauser is probably the MVP of this ensemble cast, averaging 14.2 points and 6.9 rebounds. Tom Izzo usually keeps one or two whiteys around to avoid designation as a total caste cuck. This year is no different, with promising freshman big Jaxon Kohler nibbling at the end of the competitive minutes. The Spartans also have a young white center on the roster along with Izzo's walk-on son.
#10 USC Trojans
Towering 6'9 senior guard Drew Peterson averages 14-6.5-4.4 per game, as well as a steal (2nd, 1st, 1st, and 2nd on the team). After Peterson, the well runs dry. USC keeps three honkeys at the end of their bench. Will any white player make the rotation next season?
#2 Marquette Golden Eagles
Junior point guard Tyler Kolek is the star of this act. Kolek is one of the top point guards in the nation after being an unrecruited walk-on at George Mason just three years ago. Wow, the scouts must have overlooked him somehow. Marquette plays freshman center Ben Gold for 8 minutes per game and keeps three white guys at the end of their bench. High-yellow headman Shaka Smart is an established anti-white coach with a storied history of completely ignoring white players. He is going to get a lot of credit for riding the Kolek horse that he inherited this season and next; however, he's shown no interest in replacing him with a like commodity.
#15 Vermont Catamounts
Coach John Becker's Vermont team is a relative powerhouse in the America East Conference, reaching the tourney for the fifth time in 12 seasons. They start three whites and have a couple more on the bench. Upperclassmen Finn Sullivan, Robin Duncan, and Matt Veretto are all key contributors. Unfortunately, there is a dearth of white underclassmen on deck for next year's team.
For CF fans, the East quadrant is crap as usual. Purdue is really the only acceptable bracket choice. Duke, Marquette, Tennessee, and USC each have one white star player, and I'd rank those teams in that order of preference. Vermont is a 10.5 point underdog but would be a pleasant Cinderella.
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