Aside from the possibility of Te’o being the
“first openly homosexual NFL player,†Te’o doesn’t possess any “ideal†qualities for a professional inside linebacker. He’s a shade under ideal height (he's between 6’ 0†– 6’ 1â€), he appears stocky and pudgy at 250 lbs, he’s too slow (4.82 second 40-yard dash) to cover tight ends, slot receivers, and RB’s out of the backfield, he’s never produced exceptional tackle or sack totals (although he did have 6 interceptions in 2012), he only has a two year “body of work,†and he’s an ultra-gullible, lying, dim-witted head case with bizarre emotional problems…
CAPTION: Bug-Eyed Poly Weirdo Bombs at Combine
If Te’o were white instead of Polynesian, the prospect of him even being drafted would be laughable. At a similar height and weight, former Northerwestern superstar MLB, Tim McGarigle (NCAA’s all-time leading tackler) ran a 4.73 40 and was instantly mocked by Mel Kik-r Jewnior and Little Toddy McGay and was eventually drafted in the 7[SUP]th[/SUP] round. Rest assured that Te’o will be selected far earlier than that (3[SUP]rd[/SUP] or 4[SUP]th[/SUP] round?). After all, he is a former “Heisman Trophy Candidate!â€
CAPTION: Human Fish Entangled in Seaweed