2024 Dallas Cowboys

Don Wassall

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This is once again a very unlikeable team, beginning with owner Jerry Jones, one of the prime godfathers of the Caste System, and continuing with the roster, which features just 4 White starters, which generously includes little used fullback Hunter Leupke as one of them, and 13 overall on the roster, the same numbers as last year.

Luepke was a very good running back for North Dakota State who went undrafted in 2023. At 6’1” and 235 pounds he’s roughly the same size as Carson Steele but was immediately pigeon-holed as a fullback, much like Steele was and still is by some. Dallas signed Luepke as a free agent and there was much happy talk about how much head coach Mike McCarthy loved fullbacks and would use Luepke like he did John Kuhn when he coached the Packers. McCarthy’s “love” translated in 2023 to 3 catches and 6 rushes for Luepke, far less than a typical season for the greatly underused Kuhn, as he was used mostly as a WSTD who occasionally blocked for the team’s “real” running backs.

After Luepke there’s no one else worth mentioning other than starting tight end Jake Ferguson, who went 71/761/5 last year. Backup Luke Schoonmaker also has starting talent.

The other two starters are center Cooper Beebe and right guard Zack Martin, one of the very best in the league.

After the premature retirement of ILB Leighton Vander Esch due to continuing neck problems, veteran inside linebacker Nick Vigil, now reduced to third string on the depth chart, holds the distinction of being the only White player on the Cowboys’ lousy defense.

This is what Hillary Clinton would call a “deplorable” team, one to happily root against as long as Jones owns it. Now 81, Jones personifies the meddling, egomaniacal, know-nothing owner and he’s responsible for “America’s Team” having such an extended drought when it comes to playoff success. May it continue in 2024.

QB: Cooper Rush
FB: Hunter Luepke
LG: T. J. Bass
C: Cooper Beebe, Brock Hoffman
RG: Zack Martin
RT: Matt Waletzko
TE: Jake Ferguson, Luke Schoonmaker

ILB: Nick Vigil

P: Bryan Anger
PK: Brandon Aubrey (booted a 65 yard FG in Week Three)
LS: Trent Sieg

Practice Squad: G Dakoda Shepley, LB Brock Mogensen, OT Josh Ball

Number of White Starters: 4
Number of White Players on 53 Man Roster: 13
Grade: F-
 

Freethinker

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Cowboys on the verge of “ultra black”. Luepke getting carries would make this team way more interesting but he’ll need a Hillis Curse.
 

Leonardfan

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The Cowboys just gave Prescott another contract extension. He's a lesser Tony Romo. Cowboys won't win a Super Bowl with Prescott.
 

Leonardfan

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https://nfltraderumors.co/cowboys-likely-placing-qb-dak-prescott-on-injured-reserve/

Prescott, a perenially overrated QB that fails to deliver in the playoffs. He signed a huge contract this offseason and has delivered a 3-5 record. He played well when the Cowboys had the best o-line and strong running game. He has declined since.

Cooper Rush played well in stints for the Cowboys but I wouldn't be surprised if Jerrahh gets another negrah QB under center and forces all time bust Trey Lance to play.
 

Bucky

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https://nfltraderumors.co/cowboys-likely-placing-qb-dak-prescott-on-injured-reserve/

Prescott, a perenially overrated QB that fails to deliver in the playoffs. He signed a huge contract this offseason and has delivered a 3-5 record. He played well when the Cowboys had the best o-line and strong running game. He has declined since.

Cooper Rush played well in stints for the Cowboys but I wouldn't be surprised if Jerrahh gets another negrah QB under center and forces all time bust Trey Lance to play.
Big opportunity for Rush. Audition for a future job and a decent payday. Seems consensus amongst Cowboys fans is they’re glad Dak is out for a few weeks.
 

Snow Plow

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Big opportunity for Rush. Audition for a future job and a decent payday. Seems consensus amongst Cowboys fans is they’re glad Dak is out for a few weeks.
Of course the first thing they do is trade for former second round bust, Jonathan Mingo from Carolina.
 

FootballDad

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I did not watch even a single snap of the Cowboys game after (or before, for that matter) Dak was injured. Did Rush have to yell "here we goooooo" when doing the snap count?
 

Don Wassall

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I did not watch even a single snap of the Cowboys game after (or before, for that matter) Dak was injured. Did Rush have to yell "here we goooooo" when doing the snap count?
Maybe he'll do the white thing and bring back "Omaha!"
 
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