Phall
Master
Since 2006, USC has started 8, 6, 7, 5, 6, 6, 3, 5, 4, 6, 6, 5, 6, 3, 4, 4, 6, 8, 3, and 2 starters. In 2026, they project to start 4.
Despite a big program budget, Lincoln Riley’s teams haven’t really won any games they weren’t supposed to. His worst season over five years at Oklahoma was better than his best finish in four seasons at USC. His contract is probably still too big for him to be fired if this year goes sideways.
Five star freshman Mark Bowman skipped his senior year of high school to get a head start on his pro career. He’s projected to beat out Wisconsin transfer Tucker Ashcroft as starting tight end.
We’ve pondered the heritage of LT Elijah Paige the past couple of seasons. He’s cut his long hair, so I’m promoting him to white.
Backup QB Sam Huard is on his fourth school - his father and uncle were both NFL quarterbacks. His other uncle is on the USC coaching staff, but the team is hoping Lincoln Riley’s star colored boy doesn’t let Sam press the issue.
Michigan State transfer Alex VanSumeran starts at nose tackle. True freshman DE Luke Wafle might crack the line rotation. VanSumeran’s older brother Ben is bouncing around the NFL. Wafle’s older brother Owen currently plays d-line for Duke.
Brian Urlacher’s mulatto son, who he sired with a black stripper, starts at safety.
Starters:
TE: Mark Bowman
LT: Elijah Paige
C: Killian O’Connor
NT: Alex VanSumeran
Backups:
QB: Sam Huard
TE: Tucker Ashcroft, Carson Tabaraci
OL: Hayden Treter, Aaron Dunn
DE: Luke Wafle
Despite a big program budget, Lincoln Riley’s teams haven’t really won any games they weren’t supposed to. His worst season over five years at Oklahoma was better than his best finish in four seasons at USC. His contract is probably still too big for him to be fired if this year goes sideways.
Five star freshman Mark Bowman skipped his senior year of high school to get a head start on his pro career. He’s projected to beat out Wisconsin transfer Tucker Ashcroft as starting tight end.
We’ve pondered the heritage of LT Elijah Paige the past couple of seasons. He’s cut his long hair, so I’m promoting him to white.
Backup QB Sam Huard is on his fourth school - his father and uncle were both NFL quarterbacks. His other uncle is on the USC coaching staff, but the team is hoping Lincoln Riley’s star colored boy doesn’t let Sam press the issue.
Michigan State transfer Alex VanSumeran starts at nose tackle. True freshman DE Luke Wafle might crack the line rotation. VanSumeran’s older brother Ben is bouncing around the NFL. Wafle’s older brother Owen currently plays d-line for Duke.
Brian Urlacher’s mulatto son, who he sired with a black stripper, starts at safety.
Starters:
TE: Mark Bowman
LT: Elijah Paige
C: Killian O’Connor
NT: Alex VanSumeran
Backups:
QB: Sam Huard
TE: Tucker Ashcroft, Carson Tabaraci
OL: Hayden Treter, Aaron Dunn
DE: Luke Wafle
