Phall
Master
Since 2005, Michigan has started 8, 7, 8, 9, 8, 9, 9, 8, 12, 11, 10, 10, 8, 7, 6, 5, 7, 5, 8, and 7 white players. They will tie their all-time low of 5 this season. Most of you readers should simply cease and desist reading after absorbing this statement. The only potential stat-aggregator will be a newly-promoted tight end, and there are many other avenues where you could place your enthusiasm for the college game.
Over the past two years, the Wolverines have sent JJ McCarthy, Mason Graham, and Colston Loveland into the first round of the NFL Draft. The team has seen six white players drafted and four more sign to NFL squads as free agents since winning the national championship in 2023. This year, no white player is guaranteed more than a tryout - I hope they have good agents!!
Coaches: Black head coach Sherrone Moore will try to keep up the momentum from the end of an otherwise-disappointing 8-5 debut season that concluded with wins against Ohio State and Alabama as a multi-score underdog. Moore was bequeathed the coaching gig as the highest-ranking member of the 2023 championship staff that Jim Harbaugh did not bring with him to the NFL. Well-liked within the program, he is not any sort of accredited coaching guru in terms of recruiting or X’s and O’s. He did previously win two Joe Moore awards with an inherited offensive line.
Moore will sit out the inconsequential 3rd and 4th games of the season because of a self-imposed penalty for a “sign-stealing” scandal. An overzealous Michigan staffer had clandestinely sent to his friends game tickets of future opponents with instruction to record their sideline signals. The NCAA created a rule against this in the late 90s for parity’s sake, as smaller schools could not afford videography teams to the extent of the power conferences. By 2022, when every cell phone is an HD video camera, the rule is pretty outdated, and nothing parallel ever existed in high school or the NFL. For his part, Moore deleted some text messages from his school-issued phone, which were later recovered. I certainly may be biased, but I find it all pretty uninteresting, save for the rumor that Ryan Day’s brother runs the PI firm that “investigated” Michigan by hacking a laptop to see what he could find, and now the new rumor that a Wolverine walk-on transferred to Ohio State for a payday in exchange for bringing “dirt” with him, saving his parents from foreclosing on their house. However you feel, race isn’t involved in this storyline.
Michigan’s defense has been the team’s general strength and a key part of its identity for a decade or even a century. The two previous DCs, young white men Mike MacDonald and Jesse Minter, each graduated to the NFL as hotshots (MacDonald even got the nod as a rookie white head coach for the Seahawks immediately). Both of them came from the Baltimore Ravens coaching tree; you can connect the dots that John Harbaugh bridged the gap with his brother Jim’s college team. Wink Martindale is quite the opposite of a young hotshot, but he registers right above those two young guys in the coaching tree hierarchy.
In terms of fashion, Martindale embraces the “unrepentant fat white bastard” mold of sideline archetype - he cuts the sleeves off his hooded sweatshirts while wearing tactical weather-wicking long sleeves. I doubt that Wink, in his 60s, has much to do with pounding the “recruiting path” anymore to drum up interest with black high school prospects from around the country and world. My educated guess is that he works with what is funneled to him, which is simply a less-practiced variation of the shades of player he’s worked with all his life.
Last year’s passing and overall offensive woes were blamed, perhaps fairly, on former OC Kirk Campbell, a first-year internal promotion. He is succeeded by Chip Lindsey, who has head coaching experience at Troy as well as OC experience at Auburn under Gus Malzahn and North Carolina under Mack Brown. The highlight of his resume is coaching Drake Maye’s senior campaign at UNC, leading to Maye being drafted 2nd overall.
Lindsey will make $1.4 million this season primarily to steer the Wolverines’ quarterback investment in a positive direction. That is to say that his job is to accentuate Bryce Underwood….
Quarterback: Conversation here has to begin with incoming freshman Bryce Underwood, the top high school prospect, black teenage millionaire, heartthrob to many white male boomers, and fifth highest paid public employee in the state of Michigan (after the football and basketball head coaches). Underwood is a Detroit native, long expected to be on an SEC roster before Michigan’s boosters ponied up an unprecedented sum (roughly $11 million allegedly for the expected three years on campus, plus whatever else for the actual exchange of his name, image, and likeness).
Physically, Underwood is indeed sort of a football-shaped LeBron James without being exceptionally tall or fast. He’s is the highest-rated quarterback recruit since Trevor Lawrence. Of course, Lawrence won a national championship as a college freshman and went to two more CFP bowls, finishing his college career with just two losses. There is zero chance that Underwood even approaches that standard, but he is already a virtual lock for the first round of the 2028 NFL draft due to hype alone.
Meanwhile, grad transfer Mikey Keene was actually the presumed starting quarterback for Week One. An injury kept Keene out of spring practices entirely, and he apparently isn’t yet crisp enough to distinguish himself despite his experience. He played a game in Ann Arbor last year, but for Fresno State. Keene put up respectable numbers as a Bulldog for the past couple of season and was actually once upon a time the starter at UCF before being recruited over for John Rhys Plumlee. Keene, born in Arizona, is the son of a white father and mestizo mother, making him racially something between harnizo and tanned castizo. I’ll consider him white, certainly in football terms. He’s regarded as a high-floor, low-ceiling bridge starter with a very average arm, quintessentially a game manager with no NFL future.
Michigan added a former high 4-star high schooler Jake Garcia as a post-spring recruit via Eastern Carolina. Garcia has started games for the Miami Hurricanes and the ECU Pirates but isn’t considered much else besides a “high floor” backup, which Michigan sorely lacked. Garcia is an odd “post spring practices” transfer from ECU, where he wasn’t the clear starter. He attended five different high schools, so whether or not he’s granted a sixth year of college eligibility next season for a retroactive medical redshirt, he doesn’t seem likely to do it at Michigan. He could definitely see the field if Underwood takes a bad spill.
The fourth-string QB is black Michigan native Jadyn Davis, who wasn’t good enough to see the field last year as Michigan cycled through three different starters. Last year’s top emergent quarterback, white walk-on Davis Warren, tore an ACL and will miss the entire season. He will spend the year rehabbing and then probably consider a down-transfer for his final year of eligibility. Chase Herbstreit, son of Kirk, joins the team this year with a scholarship - on an 85-scholarship roster, he would have been a walk-on. Michigan recently received a commitment from 2026 4-star prospect Brady Smigiel (white). Provided the Underwood Plan goes ahead as scheduled, he’d contend to start as a redshirt sophomore. Projecting quarterbacks is futile in the current landscape, but it gives hope that the current staff will not completely blackwash the position. Michigan also just signed 2027 5-ish star Peter Bourque. No word yet about any massive payday in that arrangement: perhaps time will tell.
Running Back: Speed demon Cole Cabana transferred to Minnesota and then Western Michigan during the offseason. The running backs coach who recruited him left the team one season prior, and the replacement coach (Tony Alford, previously of Ohio State) left Cabaa a healthy scratch while moving him down the depth chart.
After the whole bottom of the bench left, the Wolverines secured a surprise transfer from Princeton grad John Volker, a team captain and (co-)starting RB for the past two seasons. Volker was a fringe All-Ivy selection as a junior and senior, amassing 13 touchdowns and about 1000 rushing yards in 17 total games. At 6’0, 215 lbs, Volker is not an Olympian sprinter (11.01 100m in high school) but does own 51 and 75 yd touchdown runs. Since the Ivy League does not permit athletes to transfer during an academic year, Volker missed spring football in Ann Arbor and will start from near the back of the pack. Realistically, his ceiling is Michigan’s third running back, and it’s not hard to imagine him on special teams exclusively.
Michigan fandom’s popular blog MGoBlog ran a thorough summary of Volker, which you can read here (and should). His measurables certainly seem to have become adequate for a pro career (sub-4.5 40, weight room beast). I got excited reading the quotes from his strength coaches. My excitement deflated again upon hearing fall camp reports that the Wolverines will go exactly two deep at the position; they have two pretty good black guys already and want to avoid slicing their pie too thin.
Fullback: The Wolverines have one of the best fullbacks in the country, for whatever that’s worth. Max Bredeson (brother of NFL guard Ben) should be on the field for a slight majority of snaps, although his primary function will simply be “battering ram.” He’s probably too small for an NFL future but will make other players look good this fall.
Wide Receiver: Former walk-on Peyton O’Leary was a nominal starter last season as part of a historically-poor passing attack. He will continue to see some snaps, but a couple of touchdowns seems like a rather firm ceiling. He’s no longer a starter and apparently graded poorly as a blocker last year, which is basically suicide for the career of a white walk-on receiver.
Tight Ends: Michigan has had an impressive succession plan of pro-caliber tight ends. After leaning on Colston Loveland for the past two seasons, Marlin Klein slides into the starting spot with hopes to break out as a star. In a run-heavy offense with an imperfect quarterback, Klein could possibly lead the team in catches and receiving yards like Loveland before him. Point of interest: Klein was born in Germany and emigrated to Georgia to play football via a boarding school as a high school senior. He has two years of eligibility remaining.
Hogan Hansen is the primary backup TE, and Brady Prieskorn will also see the field if he’s healthy. Deakon Tonielli seems to have been passed on the depth chart as an upperclassman.
Offensive Line:
Michigan will go with poor-performing right tackle Evan Link as one of its two returning starters this season. He’s joined by the aged Mormon freshman Andrew Sprague and super senior center Greg Crippen. Link is swapping sides with Sprague and trying out the blind side this time around.
Returning starting guard Giovanni El-Hadi and transfer Lawrence Hattar both come from the greater Dearborn community, which is basically America’s Islamic epicenter. El-Hadi’s mother is Greek, and he would pass as white with a different last name; Hattar doesn’t pass the eye test. I’m not counting either as white.
Senior transfer guard Brady Norton, redshirt freshman tackle Blake Frazier, and backup center Jake Guarnera could push for playing time or slide in via injury.
Defense:
Zero starters. First time in quite awhile.
Although the defense will rotate between 4-2-5, 4-3-4, 3-4-4, and 3-3-5 sets. It doesn’t seem accurate to call MLB Jimmy Rolder a starter. Rolder perhaps won’t even play every series, but he will probably still be a prominent tackler in the team totals. He had a promising year as a true freshman before missing the next season with injury, then played sparingly last year as a backup. He’ll have this season and next to audition as a late-round draft pick.
Redshirt freshman MLB Cole Sullivan will push for snaps and may transfer if he doesn’t get them. Hopefully, not too many of these will come directly at Rolder’s expense. There’s a scenario where both guys are firmly starters next year and another scenario where both leave the team.
Defensive tackles Manuel Beigel, Ted Hammond, Bobby Kanka and linebacker Zach Ludwig are all underclassmen unlikely to see any meaningful snaps. Beigel, also from Germany, is the closest to playing time and perhaps the most likely to stick around. He made Bruce Feldman’s “Freaks List” (along with Marlin Klein), which you can read about elsewhere. True freshman Kanka’s (white) Howell team actually defeated Bryce Underwood’s (black) Belleville team in Michigan’s 2024 high school championship game, but Kanka’s multiple knee surgeries limited his recruiting stature.
These are the only six white defensive players signed to scholarships under the original 85-man team limit.
Special Teams: Dominic Zvada is one of the top kickers in the country, just in case you’re interested in that sort of thing. “Slot receiver” Joe Taylor needs to average about 12 snaps per game to become the Wolverines’ most prolific special teams player of all time. There are rumblings that Taylor could threaten for offensive snaps, but I’ll believe that when I see it. “Safety” Nico Andrighetto is originally from Palo Alto and was a family friend of the Harbaughs all the way back when Jim coached at Stanford. I don’t doubt that he’s good enough to cover center field but will instead just play as a gunner on punts.
Linebacker Rocco Milia is a late addition to the team, returning to his home state after playing four seasons at Columbia. I’ll slide him in here with the special teams players.
Former Walk-Ons: With the new 105-player roster sizes, Michigan has given scholarships to approximately 23 former or would-be walk-ons. Of these, roughly 16 are white (plus one mestizo), a sizable majority. QB Davis Warren and WR Peyton O’Leary have already seen significant snaps on offense. Taylor and Andrighetto seem the most viable “break glass in case of emergency” types, but will not see the field otherwise.
We’ve discussed on this forum a bit about predictions and projections for all these extra roster slots. Between 129 FCS teams, there are 2560 new D1 scholarships. In Michigan’s case this season, they are grandfathering in (relatively) valued scout team members, who just so happen to be very white as a bloc. I noticed already a couple of late (white) transfers from Ivy League schools: players with minimal pro aspirations who still find value in the power conference experience and the university’s brand for personal networking. It makes sense that this mold of player can slide in as a new “caste” of mercenaries; hard to imagine that even the warped scouting service monopolies can conjure an extra 2000 black prospects per year.
Recruiting Trends: Michigan has highly-ranked white quarterbacks signed for the next two classes, which is certainly a positive.
The rest of the outlook is bleak for white athletes. The Wolverines brought in two “5-star” tackles this class: a tribal warrior from the plains of Africa (Babaloa) and an American-made success story from the concrete jungle (Haywood). The second-string fullback is black, as is the incoming recruit. A black tight end and black center are also inbound.
In a vacuum, these individuals each mean little. Michigan has fielded black players there before, and with the current state of high school scouting, there are always going to be top-ranked blacks in the mix at top programs.
Collectively, they represent a distinctive downward trend in white athletes at the last of the “caste-friendly” positions. It’s hard not to notice that the black head coach is adding diversity to traditional caste-friendly positions. The transfer portal makes year-by-year starters a total grab bag, but this team still feels blacker than ever, especially with an impending three years of a black celebrity quarterback and his hoopla.
The Role of the Pernicious International Jew and the Gnostic Demiurge:
Jewish crypto-scammer and sports gambling promoter Dave Portnoy, a Michigan super-fan of Barstool Sports fame, publicly offered to pitch millions into the Underwood sweepstakes. However, jewish tech billionaire Larry Ellison, founder of Oracle, is thought to be the true underwriter of the NIL contract. Ellison’s sixth wife, Chinese national Jolin Zhu (who is less than 1/3 of his age), is a recent Michigan grad who apparently whispered into his ear. Jewish billionaire Stephen Ross, the owner of the Miami Dolphins whose name is on Michigan’s business school, has no direct involvement with the team but spearheaded a $168 million facilities overhaul in 2018 that included 2/3 of current student-athlete housing. Real estate mogul Matthew Lester gifted a new players lounge in 2024 and additionally underwrote a $6 million (heh) donation in 2025 to improving the locker room, including a renovated barber shop. Lester also offers summer internships for football players. Deceased former financial advisor J. Ira Harris made a $10 million “leadership gift” to the Michigan athletic department on the condition of naming the head coaching position after himself: Sherrone Moore is officially the “J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head Football Coach.”
Of course, I’m being a bit facetious here: there is little need for the International Jew to sully its hands directly when so many wealthy DWFs are perfectly willing to pledge away their own money. For example, new-age billionaires Cody Campbell and John Sellers have purchased a rich plantation of field hands for their alma mater Texas Tech. Nike frontman Phil Knight keeps Oregon payroll near the top of the national rankings. Despite an otherwise “conservative” campus atmosphere, the NC State collective has assembled an absurd blacks-only roster, buoyed by a $5 million “straight cash” gift from alum Brian McMurray a few months ago.
I’ve recently taken up an interest in the Gnostic Demiurge, a cosmological explanation for all this collective pathology. In so many words, a non-human “signal” exists among us, manifesting as a false covenant or warped moral fiber. You can reconcile this with Christianity without much problem simply as an analog to Lucifer, although the Norse god Loki might be a more apt parallel. Modern phenomena like the Scofield Bible, Vatican II Council, all assorted Civil Rights movements, what we’ve seen labelled “mass formation psychosis” with regard to covid and vaccines, all the way down to why the little old lady in flyover country hangs an Israel flag next to her American flag - these would fall under the purview of the mischievous, anti-Christ demiurge.
The University of Michigan has a long history at the forefront of this counter-traditional “signal,” going back to its first integrated football team in 1934. History writes that star player and future president Gerald Ford was best friends with black teammate Willis Ward. Ford springboarded from this station to Yale Law School, the US Naval Reserves, and the Republican Congressional Party in rapid succession, eventually helping author the speculative fiction called the Warren Report regarding the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Ford failed to become House Speaker but was swapped in as Vice President for Spiro Agnew in 1973. When Richard Nixon was similarly ousted the following year, Ford ascended to the head office. He appointed Nelson Rockefeller as his new VP, a rare pulling-back of the curtain we would not see happen in the Internet Age. Rockefeller apparently beat out George Bush for the spot. All of these appointments were completely organic and meritocratic, much like modern college football roster composition.
Anyway, it’s astonishing and perhaps funny in a bleak way to see a:
Starters:
TE: Marlin Klein
FB: Max Bredeson
OL: Evan Link, Andrew Sprague, Greg Crippen
Backups:
QB: Mikey Keene, Jake Garcia
WR: Peyton O’Leary
TE: Hogan Hansen, Brady Prieskorn
OL: Blake Frazier, Brady Norton, Jake Guarnera
DL: Manny Biegel
LB: Jimmy Rolder, Cole Sullivan
Over the past two years, the Wolverines have sent JJ McCarthy, Mason Graham, and Colston Loveland into the first round of the NFL Draft. The team has seen six white players drafted and four more sign to NFL squads as free agents since winning the national championship in 2023. This year, no white player is guaranteed more than a tryout - I hope they have good agents!!
Coaches: Black head coach Sherrone Moore will try to keep up the momentum from the end of an otherwise-disappointing 8-5 debut season that concluded with wins against Ohio State and Alabama as a multi-score underdog. Moore was bequeathed the coaching gig as the highest-ranking member of the 2023 championship staff that Jim Harbaugh did not bring with him to the NFL. Well-liked within the program, he is not any sort of accredited coaching guru in terms of recruiting or X’s and O’s. He did previously win two Joe Moore awards with an inherited offensive line.
Moore will sit out the inconsequential 3rd and 4th games of the season because of a self-imposed penalty for a “sign-stealing” scandal. An overzealous Michigan staffer had clandestinely sent to his friends game tickets of future opponents with instruction to record their sideline signals. The NCAA created a rule against this in the late 90s for parity’s sake, as smaller schools could not afford videography teams to the extent of the power conferences. By 2022, when every cell phone is an HD video camera, the rule is pretty outdated, and nothing parallel ever existed in high school or the NFL. For his part, Moore deleted some text messages from his school-issued phone, which were later recovered. I certainly may be biased, but I find it all pretty uninteresting, save for the rumor that Ryan Day’s brother runs the PI firm that “investigated” Michigan by hacking a laptop to see what he could find, and now the new rumor that a Wolverine walk-on transferred to Ohio State for a payday in exchange for bringing “dirt” with him, saving his parents from foreclosing on their house. However you feel, race isn’t involved in this storyline.
Michigan’s defense has been the team’s general strength and a key part of its identity for a decade or even a century. The two previous DCs, young white men Mike MacDonald and Jesse Minter, each graduated to the NFL as hotshots (MacDonald even got the nod as a rookie white head coach for the Seahawks immediately). Both of them came from the Baltimore Ravens coaching tree; you can connect the dots that John Harbaugh bridged the gap with his brother Jim’s college team. Wink Martindale is quite the opposite of a young hotshot, but he registers right above those two young guys in the coaching tree hierarchy.
In terms of fashion, Martindale embraces the “unrepentant fat white bastard” mold of sideline archetype - he cuts the sleeves off his hooded sweatshirts while wearing tactical weather-wicking long sleeves. I doubt that Wink, in his 60s, has much to do with pounding the “recruiting path” anymore to drum up interest with black high school prospects from around the country and world. My educated guess is that he works with what is funneled to him, which is simply a less-practiced variation of the shades of player he’s worked with all his life.
Last year’s passing and overall offensive woes were blamed, perhaps fairly, on former OC Kirk Campbell, a first-year internal promotion. He is succeeded by Chip Lindsey, who has head coaching experience at Troy as well as OC experience at Auburn under Gus Malzahn and North Carolina under Mack Brown. The highlight of his resume is coaching Drake Maye’s senior campaign at UNC, leading to Maye being drafted 2nd overall.
Lindsey will make $1.4 million this season primarily to steer the Wolverines’ quarterback investment in a positive direction. That is to say that his job is to accentuate Bryce Underwood….
Quarterback: Conversation here has to begin with incoming freshman Bryce Underwood, the top high school prospect, black teenage millionaire, heartthrob to many white male boomers, and fifth highest paid public employee in the state of Michigan (after the football and basketball head coaches). Underwood is a Detroit native, long expected to be on an SEC roster before Michigan’s boosters ponied up an unprecedented sum (roughly $11 million allegedly for the expected three years on campus, plus whatever else for the actual exchange of his name, image, and likeness).
Physically, Underwood is indeed sort of a football-shaped LeBron James without being exceptionally tall or fast. He’s is the highest-rated quarterback recruit since Trevor Lawrence. Of course, Lawrence won a national championship as a college freshman and went to two more CFP bowls, finishing his college career with just two losses. There is zero chance that Underwood even approaches that standard, but he is already a virtual lock for the first round of the 2028 NFL draft due to hype alone.
Meanwhile, grad transfer Mikey Keene was actually the presumed starting quarterback for Week One. An injury kept Keene out of spring practices entirely, and he apparently isn’t yet crisp enough to distinguish himself despite his experience. He played a game in Ann Arbor last year, but for Fresno State. Keene put up respectable numbers as a Bulldog for the past couple of season and was actually once upon a time the starter at UCF before being recruited over for John Rhys Plumlee. Keene, born in Arizona, is the son of a white father and mestizo mother, making him racially something between harnizo and tanned castizo. I’ll consider him white, certainly in football terms. He’s regarded as a high-floor, low-ceiling bridge starter with a very average arm, quintessentially a game manager with no NFL future.
Michigan added a former high 4-star high schooler Jake Garcia as a post-spring recruit via Eastern Carolina. Garcia has started games for the Miami Hurricanes and the ECU Pirates but isn’t considered much else besides a “high floor” backup, which Michigan sorely lacked. Garcia is an odd “post spring practices” transfer from ECU, where he wasn’t the clear starter. He attended five different high schools, so whether or not he’s granted a sixth year of college eligibility next season for a retroactive medical redshirt, he doesn’t seem likely to do it at Michigan. He could definitely see the field if Underwood takes a bad spill.
The fourth-string QB is black Michigan native Jadyn Davis, who wasn’t good enough to see the field last year as Michigan cycled through three different starters. Last year’s top emergent quarterback, white walk-on Davis Warren, tore an ACL and will miss the entire season. He will spend the year rehabbing and then probably consider a down-transfer for his final year of eligibility. Chase Herbstreit, son of Kirk, joins the team this year with a scholarship - on an 85-scholarship roster, he would have been a walk-on. Michigan recently received a commitment from 2026 4-star prospect Brady Smigiel (white). Provided the Underwood Plan goes ahead as scheduled, he’d contend to start as a redshirt sophomore. Projecting quarterbacks is futile in the current landscape, but it gives hope that the current staff will not completely blackwash the position. Michigan also just signed 2027 5-ish star Peter Bourque. No word yet about any massive payday in that arrangement: perhaps time will tell.
Running Back: Speed demon Cole Cabana transferred to Minnesota and then Western Michigan during the offseason. The running backs coach who recruited him left the team one season prior, and the replacement coach (Tony Alford, previously of Ohio State) left Cabaa a healthy scratch while moving him down the depth chart.
After the whole bottom of the bench left, the Wolverines secured a surprise transfer from Princeton grad John Volker, a team captain and (co-)starting RB for the past two seasons. Volker was a fringe All-Ivy selection as a junior and senior, amassing 13 touchdowns and about 1000 rushing yards in 17 total games. At 6’0, 215 lbs, Volker is not an Olympian sprinter (11.01 100m in high school) but does own 51 and 75 yd touchdown runs. Since the Ivy League does not permit athletes to transfer during an academic year, Volker missed spring football in Ann Arbor and will start from near the back of the pack. Realistically, his ceiling is Michigan’s third running back, and it’s not hard to imagine him on special teams exclusively.
Michigan fandom’s popular blog MGoBlog ran a thorough summary of Volker, which you can read here (and should). His measurables certainly seem to have become adequate for a pro career (sub-4.5 40, weight room beast). I got excited reading the quotes from his strength coaches. My excitement deflated again upon hearing fall camp reports that the Wolverines will go exactly two deep at the position; they have two pretty good black guys already and want to avoid slicing their pie too thin.
Fullback: The Wolverines have one of the best fullbacks in the country, for whatever that’s worth. Max Bredeson (brother of NFL guard Ben) should be on the field for a slight majority of snaps, although his primary function will simply be “battering ram.” He’s probably too small for an NFL future but will make other players look good this fall.
Wide Receiver: Former walk-on Peyton O’Leary was a nominal starter last season as part of a historically-poor passing attack. He will continue to see some snaps, but a couple of touchdowns seems like a rather firm ceiling. He’s no longer a starter and apparently graded poorly as a blocker last year, which is basically suicide for the career of a white walk-on receiver.
Tight Ends: Michigan has had an impressive succession plan of pro-caliber tight ends. After leaning on Colston Loveland for the past two seasons, Marlin Klein slides into the starting spot with hopes to break out as a star. In a run-heavy offense with an imperfect quarterback, Klein could possibly lead the team in catches and receiving yards like Loveland before him. Point of interest: Klein was born in Germany and emigrated to Georgia to play football via a boarding school as a high school senior. He has two years of eligibility remaining.
Hogan Hansen is the primary backup TE, and Brady Prieskorn will also see the field if he’s healthy. Deakon Tonielli seems to have been passed on the depth chart as an upperclassman.
Offensive Line:
Michigan will go with poor-performing right tackle Evan Link as one of its two returning starters this season. He’s joined by the aged Mormon freshman Andrew Sprague and super senior center Greg Crippen. Link is swapping sides with Sprague and trying out the blind side this time around.
Returning starting guard Giovanni El-Hadi and transfer Lawrence Hattar both come from the greater Dearborn community, which is basically America’s Islamic epicenter. El-Hadi’s mother is Greek, and he would pass as white with a different last name; Hattar doesn’t pass the eye test. I’m not counting either as white.
Senior transfer guard Brady Norton, redshirt freshman tackle Blake Frazier, and backup center Jake Guarnera could push for playing time or slide in via injury.
Defense:
Zero starters. First time in quite awhile.
Although the defense will rotate between 4-2-5, 4-3-4, 3-4-4, and 3-3-5 sets. It doesn’t seem accurate to call MLB Jimmy Rolder a starter. Rolder perhaps won’t even play every series, but he will probably still be a prominent tackler in the team totals. He had a promising year as a true freshman before missing the next season with injury, then played sparingly last year as a backup. He’ll have this season and next to audition as a late-round draft pick.
Redshirt freshman MLB Cole Sullivan will push for snaps and may transfer if he doesn’t get them. Hopefully, not too many of these will come directly at Rolder’s expense. There’s a scenario where both guys are firmly starters next year and another scenario where both leave the team.
Defensive tackles Manuel Beigel, Ted Hammond, Bobby Kanka and linebacker Zach Ludwig are all underclassmen unlikely to see any meaningful snaps. Beigel, also from Germany, is the closest to playing time and perhaps the most likely to stick around. He made Bruce Feldman’s “Freaks List” (along with Marlin Klein), which you can read about elsewhere. True freshman Kanka’s (white) Howell team actually defeated Bryce Underwood’s (black) Belleville team in Michigan’s 2024 high school championship game, but Kanka’s multiple knee surgeries limited his recruiting stature.
These are the only six white defensive players signed to scholarships under the original 85-man team limit.
Special Teams: Dominic Zvada is one of the top kickers in the country, just in case you’re interested in that sort of thing. “Slot receiver” Joe Taylor needs to average about 12 snaps per game to become the Wolverines’ most prolific special teams player of all time. There are rumblings that Taylor could threaten for offensive snaps, but I’ll believe that when I see it. “Safety” Nico Andrighetto is originally from Palo Alto and was a family friend of the Harbaughs all the way back when Jim coached at Stanford. I don’t doubt that he’s good enough to cover center field but will instead just play as a gunner on punts.
Linebacker Rocco Milia is a late addition to the team, returning to his home state after playing four seasons at Columbia. I’ll slide him in here with the special teams players.
Former Walk-Ons: With the new 105-player roster sizes, Michigan has given scholarships to approximately 23 former or would-be walk-ons. Of these, roughly 16 are white (plus one mestizo), a sizable majority. QB Davis Warren and WR Peyton O’Leary have already seen significant snaps on offense. Taylor and Andrighetto seem the most viable “break glass in case of emergency” types, but will not see the field otherwise.
We’ve discussed on this forum a bit about predictions and projections for all these extra roster slots. Between 129 FCS teams, there are 2560 new D1 scholarships. In Michigan’s case this season, they are grandfathering in (relatively) valued scout team members, who just so happen to be very white as a bloc. I noticed already a couple of late (white) transfers from Ivy League schools: players with minimal pro aspirations who still find value in the power conference experience and the university’s brand for personal networking. It makes sense that this mold of player can slide in as a new “caste” of mercenaries; hard to imagine that even the warped scouting service monopolies can conjure an extra 2000 black prospects per year.
Recruiting Trends: Michigan has highly-ranked white quarterbacks signed for the next two classes, which is certainly a positive.
The rest of the outlook is bleak for white athletes. The Wolverines brought in two “5-star” tackles this class: a tribal warrior from the plains of Africa (Babaloa) and an American-made success story from the concrete jungle (Haywood). The second-string fullback is black, as is the incoming recruit. A black tight end and black center are also inbound.
In a vacuum, these individuals each mean little. Michigan has fielded black players there before, and with the current state of high school scouting, there are always going to be top-ranked blacks in the mix at top programs.
Collectively, they represent a distinctive downward trend in white athletes at the last of the “caste-friendly” positions. It’s hard not to notice that the black head coach is adding diversity to traditional caste-friendly positions. The transfer portal makes year-by-year starters a total grab bag, but this team still feels blacker than ever, especially with an impending three years of a black celebrity quarterback and his hoopla.
The Role of the Pernicious International Jew and the Gnostic Demiurge:
Jewish crypto-scammer and sports gambling promoter Dave Portnoy, a Michigan super-fan of Barstool Sports fame, publicly offered to pitch millions into the Underwood sweepstakes. However, jewish tech billionaire Larry Ellison, founder of Oracle, is thought to be the true underwriter of the NIL contract. Ellison’s sixth wife, Chinese national Jolin Zhu (who is less than 1/3 of his age), is a recent Michigan grad who apparently whispered into his ear. Jewish billionaire Stephen Ross, the owner of the Miami Dolphins whose name is on Michigan’s business school, has no direct involvement with the team but spearheaded a $168 million facilities overhaul in 2018 that included 2/3 of current student-athlete housing. Real estate mogul Matthew Lester gifted a new players lounge in 2024 and additionally underwrote a $6 million (heh) donation in 2025 to improving the locker room, including a renovated barber shop. Lester also offers summer internships for football players. Deceased former financial advisor J. Ira Harris made a $10 million “leadership gift” to the Michigan athletic department on the condition of naming the head coaching position after himself: Sherrone Moore is officially the “J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head Football Coach.”
Of course, I’m being a bit facetious here: there is little need for the International Jew to sully its hands directly when so many wealthy DWFs are perfectly willing to pledge away their own money. For example, new-age billionaires Cody Campbell and John Sellers have purchased a rich plantation of field hands for their alma mater Texas Tech. Nike frontman Phil Knight keeps Oregon payroll near the top of the national rankings. Despite an otherwise “conservative” campus atmosphere, the NC State collective has assembled an absurd blacks-only roster, buoyed by a $5 million “straight cash” gift from alum Brian McMurray a few months ago.
I’ve recently taken up an interest in the Gnostic Demiurge, a cosmological explanation for all this collective pathology. In so many words, a non-human “signal” exists among us, manifesting as a false covenant or warped moral fiber. You can reconcile this with Christianity without much problem simply as an analog to Lucifer, although the Norse god Loki might be a more apt parallel. Modern phenomena like the Scofield Bible, Vatican II Council, all assorted Civil Rights movements, what we’ve seen labelled “mass formation psychosis” with regard to covid and vaccines, all the way down to why the little old lady in flyover country hangs an Israel flag next to her American flag - these would fall under the purview of the mischievous, anti-Christ demiurge.
The University of Michigan has a long history at the forefront of this counter-traditional “signal,” going back to its first integrated football team in 1934. History writes that star player and future president Gerald Ford was best friends with black teammate Willis Ward. Ford springboarded from this station to Yale Law School, the US Naval Reserves, and the Republican Congressional Party in rapid succession, eventually helping author the speculative fiction called the Warren Report regarding the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Ford failed to become House Speaker but was swapped in as Vice President for Spiro Agnew in 1973. When Richard Nixon was similarly ousted the following year, Ford ascended to the head office. He appointed Nelson Rockefeller as his new VP, a rare pulling-back of the curtain we would not see happen in the Internet Age. Rockefeller apparently beat out George Bush for the spot. All of these appointments were completely organic and meritocratic, much like modern college football roster composition.
Anyway, it’s astonishing and perhaps funny in a bleak way to see a:
- Jewish, politically liberal campus like Michigan
- Jewish, politically conservative campus like Florida
- secular, politically liberal campus like Oregon
- Christian, politically mixed campus like Boston College
- ostensibly-Christian, politically conservative campus like NC State
Starters:
TE: Marlin Klein
FB: Max Bredeson
OL: Evan Link, Andrew Sprague, Greg Crippen
Backups:
QB: Mikey Keene, Jake Garcia
WR: Peyton O’Leary
TE: Hogan Hansen, Brady Prieskorn
OL: Blake Frazier, Brady Norton, Jake Guarnera
DL: Manny Biegel
LB: Jimmy Rolder, Cole Sullivan
