Phall
Master
There was some discussion in the main NBA thread about how more and more teams seem to be integrating white contributors into their lineups. I thought I'd take a stab at a "viewer's guide" that gives a rough outline of who we might find enjoyable here.
I've chosen a simple three-tier sorting system. Generally, the "1 vs 1" and "1 vs 2" matchups will be games worth tracking. You might also appreciate a "1" beating a "3" in the right situation. A "2 vs 2" is stretching things a bit too thin. Bear in mind that I personally can't stand to watch a full NBA game at least until the playoffs, sticking instead to highlights and box scores.
By the numbers, roughly half (14/30) of the teams have something worth supporting, so about 25% of all games could be considered palatable, ethnically diverse, or at the very least probably won't immediately make you want to blow your brains out.
Feel free to echo or disagree with my assessments here. If injuries or trades shake up a rotation, please note it here, too! We can keep nightly updates and general roster management discussion to the main thread.
Tier One - Watchable:
Dallas Mavericks: Doncic is the best player in the league and extremely high-usage: not a single other white on the active roster but still fascinating. Maxi Kleber might eventually get healthy enough to play again.
Denver Nuggets: Jokic will always also be the best player on the court during any game. Christian Braun starts and will see his role and stats fill out as the year progresses.
Miami Heat: Tyler Herro is a consistent scorer although only the 3rd most important player on the team (until Butler is traded). Nikola Jovic is a low-usage starter, Duncan Robinson and White Mexican Jaime Jacquez Jr are regular rotation contributors. Pelle Larsson hasn’t gotten off the bench yet. Spoelstra is probably the “best” coach in the league.
Sacramento Kings: Domantas Sabots is an all-star, Kevin Huerter is still a reliable low-usage starter. The Kings also find minutes for center Alex Len and the ageless Doug McDermott.
Chicago Bulls: Josh Giddey and Nicola Vucevic are featured starters perhaps a half-tier below all-star status. Rookie Matas Buzelis is being phased into minutes very slowly.
Toronto Raptors: This one is a shocker! Gradey Dick’s racial apprenticeship lasted only one year; now, he’s a starter and very quickly one of the best players on the team. Jakob Poetl is a reliable starting center with occasional big nights, especially rebounding. Backup Kelly Olynyk is currently hurt.
Utah Jazz: Lauri Markkanen is an all-star, Walker Kessler is back in the starting lineup as a blocks and rebounds monster, and Kyle Filipowski is being phased into minutes despite sliding into the 2nd round of this summer’s draft. Svi Mykhailiuk and Drew Eubanks are at the end of the bench. The only downside is that the team is pretty lousy.
Tier Two - Mildly Interesting
LA Lakers: Austin Reaves is the 3rd best player on the team and occasionally goes off for a big night. Rookie Dalton Knecht is already proving hard to keep on the bench. Former career overachiever JJ Redick has a lot of eyes on him as a rookie coach.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Chet Holmgren is a borderline all-star and the 2nd best player on the team, although he still has games with low stat tallies. Alex Caruso is a top defender off the bench but hasn't been featured much this season; Isaiah Hartenstein (impure race) will back up Holmgren. Rookie Nikola Topic is out for the year.
Boston Celtics: Porzingis gives about a half-season of healthy all-star level performance. Peyton Pritchard (a bit Asian!) is a trusted 6th man, Sam Hauser and Luke Kornet are backups with solidified roles. Drew Peterson and Baylor Scheierman are hanging around waiting.
Orlando Magic: Franz Wagner continues to start since receiving a maximum contract extension after his rookie deal. His older brother Moe is a key piece on the second unit. Mac McClung is floating around.
Memphis Grizzliies: Zach Edey (Himalayan!) starts and is the favorite to win RoY by filling the box score. Jake LaRavia is still a fairly young big with an expanding bench role, John Konchar has been around for awhile, Jay Huff just got a full-time promotion from the G-League, and Colin Castleton and 5’6 Japanese guard Yuki Kawamura are on 2-way contracts.
Houston Rockets: Alperen Sengun (Turk!) is approaching all-star status. Steven Adams (partial Maori!) factors in off the bench, and logic dictates that rookie Reed Sheppard simply must play more eventually. Jock Landale and Jack McVeigh round out the roster.
Phoenix Suns: Jusuf Nurkic starts at center, primarily just to rebound. Grayson Allen has been pushed to the bench and is inexplicably being phased out of minutes. He was so important last year! Mason Plumlee is still one of the best rebounding backup bigs in the league. I almost moved the Suns down to the lowest tier since their gameplan seems to be force-feeding shots to their “Big Three” exclusively.
Tier Three - Unimportant
Atlanta Hawks: Garrison Matthews is now a veteran journeyman bench spark plug.
Washington Wizards: Jonas Valanciunas is better than the younger center he now backs up. Corey Kispert signed a longterm deal at a team-friendly number, so Washington will either green-light his shooting to build up his trade value (great!) or let him carve out a bigger role around their young future stars (yeah, right).
Cleveland Cavaliers: Dean Wade is a low-usage starter, Sam Merrill finally finished a four-year racial apprenticeship and gets a few shots a game off the bench.
LA Clippers: Ivica Zubac is shattering his steady career-best averages early on amidst this doomed roster. He’s the only white player.
Milwaukee Bucks: Brook Lopez still starts and does some things very well, although we’ve never really endorsed him officially here. Pat “the Stat” Connaughton has only been used as a “3 and D” bench guy for years now. The 25 yr old rookie center Liam Robbins is on a 2-way deal.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Donte DiVincenzo isn’t even getting 6th Man minutes after taking the Knicks deep into the playoffs as a starter. Joe Ingles is a part-time player at this point, and Luka Garza still doesn’t play at all.
Golden State Warriors: Brandin Podziemski is the second guy off the bench and will eventually get a promotion somewhere.
Indiana Pacers: TJ McConnell is content to be the backup PG with ever-shrinking minutes. Rookie Johnny Furfy doesn’t play.
Detroit Pistons: Italian swing forward Simone Fontecchio is a rotation player.
NY Knicks: Tyler Kolek is on the deep bench
San Antonio Spurs: Zach Collins and Sandro Mamukelashvili are low-usage backup bigs
Portland Trail Blazers: Israeli jew Deni Avdija is currently starting, and Donovan Clingan is slowly being worked into rotation minutes.
Charlotte Hornets: Vasilije Micic, a Serbian point guard, doesn’t play.
Brooklyn Nets: nothing
New Orleans Pelicans: nothing
Philadelphia 76ers: nothing
I've chosen a simple three-tier sorting system. Generally, the "1 vs 1" and "1 vs 2" matchups will be games worth tracking. You might also appreciate a "1" beating a "3" in the right situation. A "2 vs 2" is stretching things a bit too thin. Bear in mind that I personally can't stand to watch a full NBA game at least until the playoffs, sticking instead to highlights and box scores.
By the numbers, roughly half (14/30) of the teams have something worth supporting, so about 25% of all games could be considered palatable, ethnically diverse, or at the very least probably won't immediately make you want to blow your brains out.
Feel free to echo or disagree with my assessments here. If injuries or trades shake up a rotation, please note it here, too! We can keep nightly updates and general roster management discussion to the main thread.
Tier One - Watchable:
Dallas Mavericks: Doncic is the best player in the league and extremely high-usage: not a single other white on the active roster but still fascinating. Maxi Kleber might eventually get healthy enough to play again.
Denver Nuggets: Jokic will always also be the best player on the court during any game. Christian Braun starts and will see his role and stats fill out as the year progresses.
Miami Heat: Tyler Herro is a consistent scorer although only the 3rd most important player on the team (until Butler is traded). Nikola Jovic is a low-usage starter, Duncan Robinson and White Mexican Jaime Jacquez Jr are regular rotation contributors. Pelle Larsson hasn’t gotten off the bench yet. Spoelstra is probably the “best” coach in the league.
Sacramento Kings: Domantas Sabots is an all-star, Kevin Huerter is still a reliable low-usage starter. The Kings also find minutes for center Alex Len and the ageless Doug McDermott.
Chicago Bulls: Josh Giddey and Nicola Vucevic are featured starters perhaps a half-tier below all-star status. Rookie Matas Buzelis is being phased into minutes very slowly.
Toronto Raptors: This one is a shocker! Gradey Dick’s racial apprenticeship lasted only one year; now, he’s a starter and very quickly one of the best players on the team. Jakob Poetl is a reliable starting center with occasional big nights, especially rebounding. Backup Kelly Olynyk is currently hurt.
Utah Jazz: Lauri Markkanen is an all-star, Walker Kessler is back in the starting lineup as a blocks and rebounds monster, and Kyle Filipowski is being phased into minutes despite sliding into the 2nd round of this summer’s draft. Svi Mykhailiuk and Drew Eubanks are at the end of the bench. The only downside is that the team is pretty lousy.
Tier Two - Mildly Interesting
LA Lakers: Austin Reaves is the 3rd best player on the team and occasionally goes off for a big night. Rookie Dalton Knecht is already proving hard to keep on the bench. Former career overachiever JJ Redick has a lot of eyes on him as a rookie coach.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Chet Holmgren is a borderline all-star and the 2nd best player on the team, although he still has games with low stat tallies. Alex Caruso is a top defender off the bench but hasn't been featured much this season; Isaiah Hartenstein (impure race) will back up Holmgren. Rookie Nikola Topic is out for the year.
Boston Celtics: Porzingis gives about a half-season of healthy all-star level performance. Peyton Pritchard (a bit Asian!) is a trusted 6th man, Sam Hauser and Luke Kornet are backups with solidified roles. Drew Peterson and Baylor Scheierman are hanging around waiting.
Orlando Magic: Franz Wagner continues to start since receiving a maximum contract extension after his rookie deal. His older brother Moe is a key piece on the second unit. Mac McClung is floating around.
Memphis Grizzliies: Zach Edey (Himalayan!) starts and is the favorite to win RoY by filling the box score. Jake LaRavia is still a fairly young big with an expanding bench role, John Konchar has been around for awhile, Jay Huff just got a full-time promotion from the G-League, and Colin Castleton and 5’6 Japanese guard Yuki Kawamura are on 2-way contracts.
Houston Rockets: Alperen Sengun (Turk!) is approaching all-star status. Steven Adams (partial Maori!) factors in off the bench, and logic dictates that rookie Reed Sheppard simply must play more eventually. Jock Landale and Jack McVeigh round out the roster.
Phoenix Suns: Jusuf Nurkic starts at center, primarily just to rebound. Grayson Allen has been pushed to the bench and is inexplicably being phased out of minutes. He was so important last year! Mason Plumlee is still one of the best rebounding backup bigs in the league. I almost moved the Suns down to the lowest tier since their gameplan seems to be force-feeding shots to their “Big Three” exclusively.
Tier Three - Unimportant
Atlanta Hawks: Garrison Matthews is now a veteran journeyman bench spark plug.
Washington Wizards: Jonas Valanciunas is better than the younger center he now backs up. Corey Kispert signed a longterm deal at a team-friendly number, so Washington will either green-light his shooting to build up his trade value (great!) or let him carve out a bigger role around their young future stars (yeah, right).
Cleveland Cavaliers: Dean Wade is a low-usage starter, Sam Merrill finally finished a four-year racial apprenticeship and gets a few shots a game off the bench.
LA Clippers: Ivica Zubac is shattering his steady career-best averages early on amidst this doomed roster. He’s the only white player.
Milwaukee Bucks: Brook Lopez still starts and does some things very well, although we’ve never really endorsed him officially here. Pat “the Stat” Connaughton has only been used as a “3 and D” bench guy for years now. The 25 yr old rookie center Liam Robbins is on a 2-way deal.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Donte DiVincenzo isn’t even getting 6th Man minutes after taking the Knicks deep into the playoffs as a starter. Joe Ingles is a part-time player at this point, and Luka Garza still doesn’t play at all.
Golden State Warriors: Brandin Podziemski is the second guy off the bench and will eventually get a promotion somewhere.
Indiana Pacers: TJ McConnell is content to be the backup PG with ever-shrinking minutes. Rookie Johnny Furfy doesn’t play.
Detroit Pistons: Italian swing forward Simone Fontecchio is a rotation player.
NY Knicks: Tyler Kolek is on the deep bench
San Antonio Spurs: Zach Collins and Sandro Mamukelashvili are low-usage backup bigs
Portland Trail Blazers: Israeli jew Deni Avdija is currently starting, and Donovan Clingan is slowly being worked into rotation minutes.
Charlotte Hornets: Vasilije Micic, a Serbian point guard, doesn’t play.
Brooklyn Nets: nothing
New Orleans Pelicans: nothing
Philadelphia 76ers: nothing
