Thrashen
Hall of Famer
Sunday, September 8[SUP]th[/SUP], 2013, 1:00 Post Meridian
Lost in the turquoise troposphere high above “Opening Day” at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Daniel M. Rooney, the world’s premiere Irish-Catholic Cultural Marxist apostate, seethes with aberrant enchantment whilst peering down through gold-ensconced binoculars at the squalid, nacho-stained throngs of white, fundamentally-inebriated, needle-pricked, face-painting, tattooed, corpulent, racially-obtuse, Terrible Towel-waving Afro-centrists emitting 140-decible shrieks of unbridled jubilee for one of the elderly cretin’s most vile creations: The 2013 Pittsburgh Steelers…
CAPTION: Rastafarian Rooney Poses Posterior to Petite Presidential P-ssy
Through the focused lenses of the viewing instrument, Rooney’s gaunt, girlish fingers tally the white athletes that comprise the Steelers’ “Starting 22” as he gingerly defecates the previous evening’s dinner of caviar and “Truffles à La Marx” into a 14-karat silver bed pan positioned beneath his hind quarters. The spindly index, middle, ring, and pinky fingers of the glorified reanimated corpse reveal the lowly sum of pale-faced starters…
OFFENSIVE STARTERS:
QB - Ben Roethlisberger
RG - David DeCastro
TE - Heath Miller
DEFENSIVE STARTERS:
DE – Brett Keisel
White offensive back-ups that could possibly make the 53-man roster surprisingly include white QB’s Landri Jones and Bruce Gradkowski, TE’s Matt Speath and David Paulsen, and lineman John Malecki and Joe Madsen. White 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] stringers that will most certainly be cut include: OL Mike Farrell, OL Mike Golic Jr., OL Nik Embernate, and OL Joe Long…
CAPTION: Miller to Bounce Back from Injury in 2013
White defensive back-ups include…well, no one besides the permanently-cut/waived/released safety/waterboy/equipment manager, Ross Ventrone (who will be cut, of course), brother of long-time, similarly-fated Patriot “junkyard dog” Ray Ventrone….
CAPTION: Ross Ventrone Enjoys “Happier Times” Amongst His Own People
Punter Drew Butler, kicker Shaun Suisham, and long-snapper Greg Warren are locks to add three additional white faces to this chocolate-drizzled roster.
The saddest aspect of the 2013 installment of this Black Supremacist Corporation is that 4 white starters, 4-5 white back-ups on offense, and 3 “specialists” is an astounding uptick in white players when compared to the past 2-3 seasons in which their total count of white athletes reached an “All-Time NFL Record Low” 7-8 overall players. But, hey, who’s cares about counting “black and white” when they’re all wearing “black and gold!”
CAPTION: Daft DWF Brings Great Shame Upon Ancestors, Who Roll in Their Graves
Projected whites to make the 53-man roster: 11 Players (Roethlisberger, Gradkowski, DeCastro, Miller, Spaeth, Madsen, Malecki, Keisel, Butler, Suisham, and Warren)
Lost in the turquoise troposphere high above “Opening Day” at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Daniel M. Rooney, the world’s premiere Irish-Catholic Cultural Marxist apostate, seethes with aberrant enchantment whilst peering down through gold-ensconced binoculars at the squalid, nacho-stained throngs of white, fundamentally-inebriated, needle-pricked, face-painting, tattooed, corpulent, racially-obtuse, Terrible Towel-waving Afro-centrists emitting 140-decible shrieks of unbridled jubilee for one of the elderly cretin’s most vile creations: The 2013 Pittsburgh Steelers…
Through the focused lenses of the viewing instrument, Rooney’s gaunt, girlish fingers tally the white athletes that comprise the Steelers’ “Starting 22” as he gingerly defecates the previous evening’s dinner of caviar and “Truffles à La Marx” into a 14-karat silver bed pan positioned beneath his hind quarters. The spindly index, middle, ring, and pinky fingers of the glorified reanimated corpse reveal the lowly sum of pale-faced starters…
OFFENSIVE STARTERS:
QB - Ben Roethlisberger
RG - David DeCastro
TE - Heath Miller
DEFENSIVE STARTERS:
DE – Brett Keisel
White offensive back-ups that could possibly make the 53-man roster surprisingly include white QB’s Landri Jones and Bruce Gradkowski, TE’s Matt Speath and David Paulsen, and lineman John Malecki and Joe Madsen. White 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] stringers that will most certainly be cut include: OL Mike Farrell, OL Mike Golic Jr., OL Nik Embernate, and OL Joe Long…
CAPTION: Miller to Bounce Back from Injury in 2013
White defensive back-ups include…well, no one besides the permanently-cut/waived/released safety/waterboy/equipment manager, Ross Ventrone (who will be cut, of course), brother of long-time, similarly-fated Patriot “junkyard dog” Ray Ventrone….
CAPTION: Ross Ventrone Enjoys “Happier Times” Amongst His Own People
Punter Drew Butler, kicker Shaun Suisham, and long-snapper Greg Warren are locks to add three additional white faces to this chocolate-drizzled roster.
The saddest aspect of the 2013 installment of this Black Supremacist Corporation is that 4 white starters, 4-5 white back-ups on offense, and 3 “specialists” is an astounding uptick in white players when compared to the past 2-3 seasons in which their total count of white athletes reached an “All-Time NFL Record Low” 7-8 overall players. But, hey, who’s cares about counting “black and white” when they’re all wearing “black and gold!”
CAPTION: Daft DWF Brings Great Shame Upon Ancestors, Who Roll in Their Graves
Projected whites to make the 53-man roster: 11 Players (Roethlisberger, Gradkowski, DeCastro, Miller, Spaeth, Madsen, Malecki, Keisel, Butler, Suisham, and Warren)
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