You will like this story. Now, back in the old days, I used to hang around with some less-than-upstanding women. I lived in Hoboken around 2006, right when Eli was coming into the league. So this one broad tells me about "her friend's" experience. They are some dumb hoes, so they get the velvet rope lifted for them at the expensive night club to sit with the football players. After the tab gets paid, the girl gets into Eli's limousine (he lives like two blocks away). In her own words, "the party was over before it started." Eli came in his pants. There was no sex, because Eli Manning is a premature ejaculator. I believe this story to be true because, for one thing, this girl was not smart enough to make up a tale like that.