reclaimsocal
Guru
Being a long suffering Minnesota Viking fan, I've
decided that Tarvaris Jackson isn't the answer, and
this season is lost because the morons who make
decisions regarding this team put their faith in him.
Now I can only dream of an offseason that puts the
Vikings in a position to compete next year.... So
I've devised the ultimate anti-caste offseason plan to
fix the ills that have dogged this franchise for the
past decade.
Phase #1 Free Agency/Trades:
As my first move I will trade for Matt Jones from
Jacksonville to come in as my #1 Wideout. I figure
Mike Tice is down there and has to have some pet
Viking that he would swap man up, I'm thinking maybe
our bust Troy Williamson or underachieving Defensive
End Kenechi Udeze whom may garner additional
compensation given the caste premium on castefriendly
fat slobs in Jacksonville.
My next move would be to ink Restricted Free Agent
Safety Jim Leonhard from the Bills to come in as my
starter, replacing the assclown Dwight Smith whose now
famous musing following the slaughter in Green Bay
that Football is more important to the fans then the
players should earn him a trip out of town.
Phase #2 Draft:
Now for my ultimate anti-caste Draft...
In the first round I grab Boston College QB Matt Ryan
to step into the starting role, demoting Tarvaris
Jackson to third string with Bollinger or Holcomb
retaining the Backup/Mentor role.
In round two I'm taking Notre Dame TE John Carlson,
who should be the first TE taken, but will
mysteriously fall behind Rucker and Fred Davis for
some unquantifiable reason.
With the first of my third round picks I'm snagging
Craig Steltz from LSU to step into my Strong Safety
slot, replacing the all talk, no production Darren
Sharper. Since the Vikes utilize the Tampa 2, his
Free Safety attributes make him a natural fit.
With the second of my third round picks I'm taking
Ohio State Tackle Kirk Barton to be my primary backup
to LT Bryant McKinnie and RT Ryan Cook. My hope is
that he can eventually step in for the pass blockingly
challenged McKinnie.
In the fourth round I do what experts will call a
"reach", but what I will call a steal in snagging
Kansas State WR Jordy Nelson. I think he will nail
down the #3 WR job behind newly acquired Matt Jones
and second year WR Sydney Rice.
In the fifth round I'm taking Center Kory
Lichtensteiger out of Bowling Green to learn the ropes
from Matt Birk who is starting to get a little long in
the tooth.
I have no sixth round pick due to the inept trade for
Kelly Holcomb.
With the first of my seventh round picks I am taking
West Virginia Fullback Owen Schmitt to replace the no
longer reliable Tony Richardson as my lead blocker for
Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor.
With the second of my seventh round picks I am
grabbing Danny Woodhead out of Chadron State to fill
the role of departing Free Agent Mewelde Moore.
This would give me the following starting lineup
headed into the 2008 Season.
QB - Matt Ryan
RB - Adrian Peterson
FB - Owen Schmitt
WR - Matt Jones
WR - Sydney Rice
TE - John Carlson
LT - Bryant McKinnie
RT - Ryan Cook
LG - Steve Hutchinson
RG - Anthony Hererra
C - Matt Birk
LE - Ray Edwards
RE - Brian Robison
UT - Kevin Williams
NT - Pat Williams
SB - Ben Leber
WB - Chad Greenway
MB - E.J. Henderson
RC - Cedric Griffin
LC - Antoine Winfield
SS - Craig Steltz
FS - Jim Leonhard
decided that Tarvaris Jackson isn't the answer, and
this season is lost because the morons who make
decisions regarding this team put their faith in him.
Now I can only dream of an offseason that puts the
Vikings in a position to compete next year.... So
I've devised the ultimate anti-caste offseason plan to
fix the ills that have dogged this franchise for the
past decade.
Phase #1 Free Agency/Trades:
As my first move I will trade for Matt Jones from
Jacksonville to come in as my #1 Wideout. I figure
Mike Tice is down there and has to have some pet
Viking that he would swap man up, I'm thinking maybe
our bust Troy Williamson or underachieving Defensive
End Kenechi Udeze whom may garner additional
compensation given the caste premium on castefriendly
fat slobs in Jacksonville.
My next move would be to ink Restricted Free Agent
Safety Jim Leonhard from the Bills to come in as my
starter, replacing the assclown Dwight Smith whose now
famous musing following the slaughter in Green Bay
that Football is more important to the fans then the
players should earn him a trip out of town.
Phase #2 Draft:
Now for my ultimate anti-caste Draft...
In the first round I grab Boston College QB Matt Ryan
to step into the starting role, demoting Tarvaris
Jackson to third string with Bollinger or Holcomb
retaining the Backup/Mentor role.
In round two I'm taking Notre Dame TE John Carlson,
who should be the first TE taken, but will
mysteriously fall behind Rucker and Fred Davis for
some unquantifiable reason.
With the first of my third round picks I'm snagging
Craig Steltz from LSU to step into my Strong Safety
slot, replacing the all talk, no production Darren
Sharper. Since the Vikes utilize the Tampa 2, his
Free Safety attributes make him a natural fit.
With the second of my third round picks I'm taking
Ohio State Tackle Kirk Barton to be my primary backup
to LT Bryant McKinnie and RT Ryan Cook. My hope is
that he can eventually step in for the pass blockingly
challenged McKinnie.
In the fourth round I do what experts will call a
"reach", but what I will call a steal in snagging
Kansas State WR Jordy Nelson. I think he will nail
down the #3 WR job behind newly acquired Matt Jones
and second year WR Sydney Rice.
In the fifth round I'm taking Center Kory
Lichtensteiger out of Bowling Green to learn the ropes
from Matt Birk who is starting to get a little long in
the tooth.
I have no sixth round pick due to the inept trade for
Kelly Holcomb.
With the first of my seventh round picks I am taking
West Virginia Fullback Owen Schmitt to replace the no
longer reliable Tony Richardson as my lead blocker for
Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor.
With the second of my seventh round picks I am
grabbing Danny Woodhead out of Chadron State to fill
the role of departing Free Agent Mewelde Moore.
This would give me the following starting lineup
headed into the 2008 Season.
QB - Matt Ryan
RB - Adrian Peterson
FB - Owen Schmitt
WR - Matt Jones
WR - Sydney Rice
TE - John Carlson
LT - Bryant McKinnie
RT - Ryan Cook
LG - Steve Hutchinson
RG - Anthony Hererra
C - Matt Birk
LE - Ray Edwards
RE - Brian Robison
UT - Kevin Williams
NT - Pat Williams
SB - Ben Leber
WB - Chad Greenway
MB - E.J. Henderson
RC - Cedric Griffin
LC - Antoine Winfield
SS - Craig Steltz
FS - Jim Leonhard