March Madness 2025

Phall

Phall

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I'll be creating my breakdowns for March Madness regions again this year. I will create the posts for each region right now as "placeholders" and then complete them over the next few days - feel free to discuss things before I finish any of them.

Duke basketball is a hot topic because Cooper Flagg is still recovering from a severe ankle roll; we will see how that goes with regard to keeping him out of the tournament. I'd like him to get $10+ million of endorsement and shoe deals, which isn't a very tall "ask" believe it or not, and have him stay at Duke for another year or three.

Anyway, more to be discussed, here is BUSINESS:
 
SOUTH REGIONAL:

1 Auburn
Auburn doesn’t play any white players. Next!

16 Alabama St / Saint Francis PA
Alabama State is an HCBU and has a roster and staff comprised entirely of black males. Saint Francis features starting guards Riley Parker and Bobby Rosenberger and rotational shooter Jeremy Clayville. Parker is the team’s leading scorer.


8 Louisville
Guard Reyne Smith starts and leads the team with 106 3-pointers made this season. Big Noah Waterman plays 20 minutes off the bench.

9 Creighton
The Blue Jays roster 9 white players, including top super-senior stars Ryan Kalkbrenner and Steven Ashworth. Isaac Traudt and Fedor Zurich are rotation bigs, and freshman Jackson McAndrew has emerged as a quality starter. Creighton plays 3-4 whites at the same time and should be considered a community favorite. Head coach Doug McDermott might finally move to a power conference job after this tourney run.


5 Michigan
The Wolverines start two 7-footers in Russian Vlad Goldin and Danny Wolf, who was born in Illinois but plays for the Israeli national team. Will Tschetter is a high-energy substitute who can get hot shooting. Sam Walters is also in the rotation but has been injured this past month.

12 UC San Diego
The Tritons are a majority-white team. They are led by New Zealand native Aniwaniwa Tait-Jones, who is obviously part Maori. Their next three top scorers are Tyler McGhie, Hayden Gray, and Nordic Kapic. They also play Maximo Milovich and Aidan Burke in the rotation.


4 Texas A&M
The Aggies don’t have much to cheer for. Erstwhile starting guard Hayden Hefner averages less than 5 points per game.

13 Yale
The Bulldogs’ two best players are white, guard John Poulakidas and big man Nick Townsend. They play backups Riley Fox, Trevor Mullen, and Jack Molloy toward the end of a deep rotation.


6 Ole Miss
The Rebels are headlined by Virginia Tech transfer Sean Pedulla, who leads the team in points and assists. Brazilian freshman Eduardo Klafke logs 10 minutes/game as a backup forward.

11 San Diego State / North Carolina
The Aztecs play only backup forward Miles Heide in their rotation. The Tar Heels play star Belmont transfer Cade Tyson just 8 minutes per game. Neither team inspires much fanfare.


3 Iowa State
The Cyclones ended the year starting two whites, sophomore forward Milan Momcilovic and senior guard Nate Heise. They have two backups in the rotation (Brandton Chatfield and Cade Kelderman). Not a terrible team, although their white players don’t have very high usage rates overall.

14 Lipscomb
Located in Nashville, the Bisons have only three black players on its majority-white roster. They are led by senior forward Jacob Ognacevic who averages more than 20 points and 8 rebounds per game. Will Pruitt averages 13 and 5, and point guard Joe Anderson leads the team in three pointers and assists. They will play four whites on the court for the majority of the game.


7 Marquette
Shaka Smart teams are never white-friendly. This year, the Golden Eagles start 6’11 big man Ben Gold from New Zealand, averaging a modest 7 points, 4 rebounds, and one block per game. There are a few white walk-ons at the end of the bench who don’t play.

10 New Mexico
The Lobos start Serbian forward Filip Borovicanin, as well as Arab forward Mustafa Amzil, who naturally hails from Helsinki, Finland. They have two white backups in the rotation: Jovan Milcevic and Braden Appelhans.


2 Michigan State
The Spartans are more white-friendly than usual this year, with Tom Izzo starting two white bigs in Jaxon Kohler and Szymon Zapata. Forward Frankie Fidler and center Carson Cooper are backup mainstays in a deep ten-man rotation. While Kohler is the team’s leading rebounder, none of these players generally “take over” games - this is still above average for a Michigan State team.

15 Bryant
The Bulldogs start versatile forward Connor Withers, who averages 11 points, 5.5 rebounds, 3.5 assists, 1.7 steals and 1.5 blocks per game. He’s been a pleasant surprise since up-transferring from UMass Lowell. There are a couple of white guys at the end of the bench who aren’t called upon very often.



This bracket has some great underdog teams to cheer for. Creighton, UC San Diego, Yale, and Lipscomb are our top white-friendly rooting options. Michigan State, Iowa State, and Michigan aren’t bad and will compare favorably to plenty of opposing teams.
 
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WEST REGIONAL:


1 Florida
The Gators start talented sophomore center Alex Condon, who is a borderline first round pick this summer. Sophomore forward Thomas Haugh comes off the bench and averages 9.4 points and 6 rebounds with 24 minutes per game. Backups Urban Klavzar and Micah Handlogten round out the back end of the rotation. I’ve been a bit disappointed that Condon hasn’t been leaned on as a superstar, but this still isn’t a terrible team to watch.

16 Norfolk State
Is the number of Historically Black Colleges and Universities in the USA slowly growing over time? This team is another weak auto-bid conference champion that features entirely black males on its roster and coaching staff.


8 UConn
The Huskies are still in rare air for starting two white Americans who could be first round NBA draft picks this summer. True freshman Liam McNeeley is the stud, and redshirt junior Alex Karaban is the team captain. Point guard Aidan Mahaney joined the team this year after a promising career start at St. Mary’s, but he has never really gotten off the ground in Connecticut. Credit to coach Dan Hurley for putting three straight white-friendly basketball teams on the floor after starting his coaching career with almost two decades of coal-black bakkaball.

9 Oklahoma
Forward Sam Godwin is a low-usage starter for the Sooners. Guard Dayton Forsythe and big man Luke Northweather average 10-12 minutes per game as backups. Head coach Porter Moser is renowned for making the Final Four with Loyola Chicago in 2018. Although his son is at the end of the bench, this team is pretty pedestrian.


5 Memphis
Now looka here, boy! You thought coach Anfernee Hardaway was gonna be recruiting some sorry ass crackas to play for his squad! Now, you know ya done f+cked up, doncha? There is a solitary white gentleman walk-on who has never been given even a token minute of floor time all year. While I shouldn’t speculate out loud, calling this a “humiliation ritual” would be putting it mildly.

12 Colorado State
This is kind of a down-year for Nico Medved’s Rams program. They don’t start any whites, but play Ethan Morton, Nikola Drape, Bowen Born, and Kyle Jorgensen off the bench when all are healthy. I can’t give them a good mark with no white starters, but they’re certainly worth backing over Memphis.


4 Maryland
The Terps haven’t had a white player on scholarship in nearly ten years. They keep two suckers on the tail-end of their bench.

13 Grand Canyon
Big man Duke Brennan claws down more than 9 rebounds per game as a starter. Sophomore guard Caleb Shaw is the final man in a shallow 8-man rotation. Backup center Austin Maurer might see a few minutes in the tournament just because of his 7’0 height. Head coach and former tourney star Bryce Drew has fielded better squads in the past but reliably finds this #13 seed.


6 Missouri
Guard Caleb Grill doesn’t start, but plays over half the game’s minutes as a sharpshooter with 77 3-pointers made on the season. Backup swing man Jacob Crews is good for at least one deep ball per game. Not a very white-friendly team considering the location in the heart of the Rust Belt.

11 Drake
The Bulldogs are traditionally a white-friendly private school in Iowa. Here’s a bit of lore: last year’s coach, Darian DeVries, was hired away by West Virginia - he missed the top tier of power conference jobs. He brought his son Tucker with him to WVU, where he was the star until an injury in December. The NCAA committee left WVU out of the bracket this year, citing that injury as a reason. Meanwhile at Drake, new coach Ben McCollum kept the ball rolling with a gaudy 30-3 season record. Despite the short tenure, he’s a front-runner for a few Big Ten jobs over DeVries simply because he doesn’t have a big contract buyout. Anyway, Drake’s best player is guard Bennett Stirtz, who boasts 19.1- 4.5-5.7 averages. They also start Mitch Mascari and Daniel Abreu (Brazilian admixture?) while bringing Nate Ferguson off the bench. Stirtz followed coach McCollum from Northwest Missouri State and has had no trouble playing up a level. Good team overall!


3 Texas Tech
The Red Raiders are in fact as black as the coldest, darkest night. They keep one white guy at the end of their bench, though.

14 UNC Wilmington
The Seahawks are back in the dance after a long layoff. They don’t have much to cheer for apart from junior guard Noah Ross, who plays a majority of game minutes while coming off the bench. Two other white athletes don’t crack the deep 11-man rotation.


7 Kansas
The Jayhawks have underachieved this year. Apart from forever-senior center Hunter Dickinson and his team-leading 17.6 and 10.0 averages, there aren’t any other white players to expect. Five unused white players are stashed on the end of the bench.

10 Arkansas
John Calipari squeaked into the big dance after a middling first regular season with the Razorbacks. He brought Croatian starting center Zvonimir Ivisic with him from Kentucky and isn’t even bothering with white walk-ons at the moment.


2 St. John’s
Rick Pitino has rebounded from his temporary fall from grace with another black-centric roster. Sophomore rotation forward Brady Dunlap is out for the season with injury. Portuguese big man Ruben Prey sees spot duty. The Red Storm are rather monochromatic.

15 Omaha
I can’t recall the Mavericks ever making a tournament. They start shooting guard Tony Osburn and bring power forward Joshua Streit in for solid backup minutes. Not exactly a team of corn-fed hogmollies.


Slimmer pickings in this region, as I’d say Drake and UConn are our two best rooting options. The unlikeable St. John's, Texas Tech, Maryland, and Memphis teams didn't get the memo that DEI lost at the ballot box, bigly.
 
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EAST REGIONAL:

1 Duke
The Blue Devils have two white American lottery picks, which makes them the best team to root for in the country. Cooper Flagg rolled his ankle last week and is not a lock to return at all this tournament, especially with his impending pro career in place. Kon Kneuppel seemed able to step into the star role this past week. The problem with Duke is that these are their only two white players. The third lottery pick on their roster is a lanky Sambo with very dark skin and bright red lips, literally named “Ngubu” from the 4chan meme.

16 Mount Saint Mary’s / American
“The Mount” only features two white players on its roster, and neither of them play much. The American University Eagles look much better on paper - their top player is senior forward Matt Rogers, and they play a few other white players in their rotation.


8 Mississippi State
The Bulldogs have a middle-aged white coach corralling an entirely black roster.

9 Baylor
The Bears are a historically anti-white program, although this year they have two white walk-ons at the end of their bench, which makes them a veritable United Nations of racial diversity compared to their first-round opponent.


5 Oregon
The Ducks don’t have much white depth, but center Nate Bittle is the best player on the team. He averages 14.1 points and 7.4 rebounds along with more than 2 blocks per contest.

12 Liberty
The Flames start two white players, Kaden Matheny and Zach Cleveland, who both average double digits. They have some other white backups who aren’t used often.


4 Arizona
The Wildcats coach Tommy Lloyd was historically well-regarded here for recruiting white international players to Gonzaga. He has a handsome roster this year but only plays Henri Veesaar and Anthony Dell’Orso any significant minutes as substitutes. Not good, Tommy!

13 Akron
The Zips have four white players who don’t play very much, including the white coach’s son. Sad!


6 BYU
The Cougars will probably start four white players and play two more off the bench, making them an elite CF team. Their best player is junior forward Richie Saunders, and their second-best player is Moscow native Egor Demin, a 6’9 freshman point guard who will likely be a lottery pick this summer. This roster has six white American players from the state of Utah (plus one from Idaho and one from California). BYU obviously prioritizes Mormons, but this roster tells me that every school could field a white-friendly team of locals if they wanted to do that.

11 VCU
The Rams’ best player is their only white player: Ukrainian guard Max Shulga. He leads the team in points, rebounds, assists, steals, but not turnovers. Victoria Nuland could have recruited a basketball powerhouse instead of sending all those other men into the meat grinder!


3 Wisconsin
The Badgers start three white players: guard Max Klesmit and seven-footers Steven Crowl and Nolan Winter. They also use Jack Janicki and Carter Gilmore off the bench. Although their star player this year isn’t white, this is one of the best teams to root for, as usual.

14 Montana
The Grizzlies use guard Kai Johnson as an equal contributor in a very shallow 6-man rotation. This team does not accurately represent the state of Montana in terms of racial demographics.


7 Saint Mary’s
While the Gaels are historically white-friendly, this year, they only have three non-white players on the roster. This team is led by two Lithuanian players, guard Augustus Marciulonis and forward Paulus Murauskas. Mitchell Saxen is a longtime starter, and Luke Barrett makes the fourth white starter.

10 Vanderbilt
The Commodores start forward Tyler Nickel, a castoff from Virginia Tech and UNC, as well as point guard Chris Manon, a graduate transfer from Cornell. They have a few more white players, but they are relegated to the end of the bench.


2 Alabama
The Crimson Tide somehow wrangled North Dakota State superstar Grant Nelson away from his home team two years ago, and he’s been Option 1-B for this team while remaining capable of taking over games himself. Usually when I preview an Alabama basketball team, there is a question of how many of the team’s black players are implicated in pending homicide investigations. To their extreme credit, I do not believe that any of their players are currently accused of murder, even in social media hearsay. This marks a great step forward in societal harmony for this storied program.

15 Robert Morris
The Colonials start 6’9 Spanish forward Alvaro Folgueiras, who averages a cool 14-9-3 stat line as the team’s second best player. They keep their other three white players relegated to the deep bench.


While Duke is a safe "chalk" pick, the other great rooting interests in this quadrant are Wisconsin, BYU, and Saint Mary's.
 
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MIDWEST REGIONAL:

1 Houston
As my own energy and enthusiasm wane on this project, coach Kelvin Sampson makes this very easy for me, as there is nary a single white player to be found on his roster, this year or any of the other years!

16 SIUE
The Cougars of Southern Illinois University, Edwardsville campus play Arnas Sakenis, Declan Dillon, and Miles Thompson off the bench as rotation players.


8 Gonzaga
Mark Few has really lost the plot from his previous successes with white-friendly teams. Forwards Braden Huff and Ben Gregg basically each play half the game, and sophomore guard Dusty Stromer is the team’s 8th man.

9 Georgia
The Bulldogs start the impeccably-named Blue Cain at shooting guard. They have two other unused white reserves.


5 Clemson
Big men Ian Schieffelin and Viktor Lakhim are starters and the second and third top scorers on this Tigers team. Junior guard Jake Heidbreder is the 7th man in the rotation.

12 McNeese State
When Will Wade was unceremoniously fired from LSU for getting caught on a wire tap complaining about getting outbid for recruits, no one accused him of immoral behavior. Indeed, bidding on recruits is now legal and encouraged. Wade’s nickname is apparently “The American Gangster.” He coaches an entirely black team.


4 Purdue
Boilermakers coach Matt Painter is regarded as one of the best coaches to never win a title. He deserves immense credit for recruiting two white American guards as freshman starters. We are now in the third year of the Braden Smith / Fletcher Loyer back court. Smith has been a consensus conference player of the year. Joining him in the rotation are forwards Caleb Durst, Brian Waddell, and Camden Heide.

13 High Point
The Panthers start guard Chase Johnston and Trae Benham and Simon Hildebrandt off the bench.


6 Illinois
The Illini feature Lithuanian freshman point guard phenom Kasparov Jakucionis, who projects as a lottery pick. They also start center Tomislav Ivisic and sharpshooting forward Ben Humrichous, while also playing forward Jake Davis in their rotation. This team is a pleasant surprise from head coach Brad Underwood.

11 Texas/Xavier
The Longhorns’ roster includes three white players, none of whom play for black head coach Rodney Terry. The Xavier Musketeers start forward Zach Freemantle and keep four white players at the end of their bench.


3 Kentucky
The Wildcats start forward Andrew Carr and play Kerr Kriisa, Travis Perry, Trent Noah, and Collin Chandler off the bench for depth. This is better than usual for the Wildcats, who are playing for new head coach Mark Pope, a former player himself (and Mormon from Utah). This looks better than any Calipari-coached team in recent memory.

14 Troy
The Trojans start handsome forward Thomas Dowd and also play Theo Song, Cooper Campbell, and Victor Valdes (Mexican) in their rotation.


7 UCLA
The Bruins’ best player is leading scorer Tyler Bilodeau, a power forward. They also play centers Aday Mara (Spain) and Lazar Stefanovic (Serbia) off the bench.

10 Utah State
The Aggies are rather disappointing this year, starting guard Mason Falslev and playing Karson Templin off the bench. They have plenty of whites on the roster who can’t seem to find playing time.


2 Tennessee
The Volunteers get quality production from starting center Igor Milicic of Croatia. Backup forward Cade Phillips has a highlight reel of dunks on Youtube and can leap out oof the gym.

15 Wofford
The Wofford College Terriers have seven white players on their roster. They start Dillon Bailey, Jackson Sivills, and Kyler Filewich while playing Luke Flynn and Jeremy Lorenz as backups.



The easy choice in this bracket is Purdue, followed by Illinois, Clemson, and Wofford. Houston, Texas, and McNeese State are the only teams bringing nothing to the table.
 
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Great job Phall! Informative as always, with your patented blend of humor. Always an enjoyable read.
 
Phall said:
WEST REGIONAL:


1 Florida
The Gators start talented sophomore center Alex Condon, who is a borderline first round pick this summer. Sophomore forward Thomas Haugh comes off the bench and averages 9.4 points and 6 rebounds with 24 minutes per game. Backups Urban Klavzar and Micah Handlogten round out the back end of the rotation. I’ve been a bit disappointed that Condon hasn’t been leaned on as a superstar, but this still isn’t a terrible team to watch.

16 Norfolk State
Is the number of Historically Black Colleges and Universities in the USA slowly growing over time? This team is another weak auto-bid conference champion that features entirely black males on its roster and coaching staff.


8 UConn
The Huskies are still in rare air for starting two white Americans who could be first round NBA draft picks this summer. True freshman Liam McNeeley is the stud, and redshirt junior Alex Karaban is the team captain. Point guard Aidan Mahaney joined the team this year after a promising career start at St. Mary’s, but he has never really gotten off the ground in Connecticut. Credit to coach Dan Hurley for putting three straight white-friendly basketball teams on the floor after starting his coaching career with almost two decades of coal-black bakkaball.

9 Oklahoma
Forward Sam Godwin is a low-usage starter for the Sooners. Guard Dayton Forsythe and big man Luke Northweather average 10-12 minutes per game as backups. Head coach Porter Moser is renowned for making the Final Four with Loyola Chicago in 2018. Although his son is at the end of the bench, this team is pretty pedestrian.


5 Memphis
Now looka here, boy! You thought coach Anfernee Hardaway was gonna be recruiting some sorry ass crackas to play for his squad! Now, you know ya done f+cked up, doncha? There is a solitary white gentleman walk-on who has never been given even a token minute of floor time all year. While I shouldn’t speculate out loud, calling this a “humiliation ritual” would be putting it mildly.

12 Colorado State
This is kind of a down-year for Nico Medved’s Rams program. They don’t start any whites, but play Ethan Morton, Nikola Drape, Bowen Born, and Kyle Jorgensen off the bench when all are healthy. I can’t give them a good mark with no white starters, but they’re certainly worth backing over Memphis.


4 Maryland
The Terps haven’t had a white player on scholarship in nearly ten years. They keep two suckers on the tail-end of their bench.

13 Grand Canyon
Big man Duke Brennan claws down more than 9 rebounds per game as a starter. Sophomore guard Caleb Shaw is the final man in a shallow 8-man rotation. Backup center Austin Maurer might see a few minutes in the tournament just because of his 7’0 height. Head coach and former tourney star Bryce Drew has fielded better squads in the past but reliably finds this #13 seed.


6 Missouri
Guard Caleb Grill doesn’t start, but plays over half the game’s minutes as a sharpshooter with 77 3-pointers made on the season. Backup swing man Jacob Crews is good for at least one deep ball per game. Not a very white-friendly team considering the location in the heart of the Rust Belt.

11 Drake
The Bulldogs are traditionally a white-friendly private school in Iowa. Here’s a bit of lore: last year’s coach, Darian DeVries, was hired away by West Virginia - he missed the top tier of power conference jobs. He brought his son Tucker with him to WVU, where he was the star until an injury in December. The NCAA committee left WVU out of the bracket this year, citing that injury as a reason. Meanwhile at Drake, new coach Ben McCollum kept the ball rolling with a gaudy 30-3 season record. Despite the short tenure, he’s a front-runner for a few Big Ten jobs over DeVries simply because he doesn’t have a big contract buyout. Anyway, Drake’s best player is guard Bennett Stirtz, who boasts 19.1- 4.5-5.7 averages. They also start Mitch Mascari and Daniel Abreu (Brazilian admixture?) while bringing Nate Ferguson off the bench. Stirtz followed coach McCollum from Northwest Missouri State and has had no trouble playing up a level. Good team overall!


3 Texas Tech
The Red Raiders are in fact as black as the coldest, darkest night. They keep one white guy at the end of their bench, though.

14 UNC Wilmington
The Seahawks are back in the dance after a long layoff. They don’t have much to cheer for apart from junior guard Noah Ross, who plays a majority of game minutes while coming off the bench. Two other white athletes don’t crack the deep 11-man rotation.


7 Kansas
The Jayhawks have underachieved this year. Apart from forever-senior center Hunter Dickinson and his team-leading 17.6 and 10.0 averages, there aren’t any other white players to expect. Five unused white players are stashed on the end of the bench.

10 Arkansas
John Calipari squeaked into the big dance after a middling first regular season with the Razorbacks. He brought Croatian starting center Zvonimir Ivisic with him from Kentucky and isn’t even bothering with white walk-ons at the moment.


2 St. John’s
Rick Pitino has rebounded from his temporary fall from grace with another black-centric roster. Sophomore rotation forward Brady Dunlap is out for the season with injury. Portuguese big man Ruben Prey sees spot duty. The Red Storm are rather monochromatic.

15 Omaha
I can’t recall the Mavericks ever making a tournament. They start shooting guard Tony Osburn and bring power forward Joshua Streit in for solid backup minutes. Not exactly a team of corn-fed hogmollies.


Slimmer pickings in this region, as I’d say Drake and UConn are our two best rooting options. The unlikeable St. John's, Texas Tech, Maryland, and Memphis teams didn't get the memo that DEI lost at the ballot box, bigly.
Click to expand...
Keep an eye on Drake. 30-3 regular season, I had them beating Mizzou in round 1. Looks like they'll pull it off.
 
Purdue denies all-black McNeese State's Cinderella bid in a blowout. Smith and Loyer both in double figures.

Up next, look for Michigan over TA&M, Cinderella contender Drake over TTU, and Creighton over #1 seed Auburn. The whiter teams are underdogs in each matchup. BYU and Wisconsin will also meet in what should be one of the whiter games of the tournament.

Enjoy!
 
Nick Mangold said:
Purdue denies all-black McNeese State's Cinderella bid in a blowout. Smith and Loyer both in double figures.

Up next, look for Michigan over TA&M, Cinderella contender Drake over TTU, and Creighton over #1 seed Auburn. The whiter teams are underdogs in each matchup. BYU and Wisconsin will also meet in what should be one of the whiter games of the tournament.

Enjoy!
Click to expand...
Thanks for the update NM.

I watched Purdue and they looked like a well oiled machine. They should be a very tough matchup for all black Houston. Assuming they get past Gonzaga, which could prove to be a huge test this early for a #1 seed.
 
Freethinker said:
Thanks for the update NM.

I watched Purdue and they looked like a well oiled machine. They should be a very tough matchup for all black Houston. Assuming they get past Gonzaga, which could prove to be a huge test this early for a #1 seed.
Click to expand...

Purdue is always a fan favorite here on this board. Similar to Iowa in Football they are very fair to white athletes at Purdue. I hope the Boilermakers continue a huge run in this tournament.
 
Good to see Purdue, Michigan, and BYU win today. Goldin on Michigan is pretty good. Looking for UCLA to win in the last game today and Duke, Florida, Illinois, St. Mary's, Michigan State and Iowa State to win tomorrow. Jakucionis on Illinois is a player also.
 
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