2016 San Francisco 49ers


Mar 11, 2011
Formerly a legitimate Super Bowl contender, the San Francisco 49ers have fallen off drastically since Jim Harbaugh's departure as head coach. Having built his collegiate career on the backs of white players at Stanford, Harbaugh seemingly abandoned his principles and during his tenure as the 49ers HC he, alongside GM Trent Baalke, relegated white players to the typical caste positions of (back up) QB, OL, TE, and the occasional defensive player. Despite the dearth of white defensive players during this time period, some of the franchise's token white defenders were among the best of the field, among them DE Justin Smith and LB Chris Borland.

It remains to be seen what new HC Chip Kelly's influence will be on the franchise in coming years. Kelly assembled a CF favorite in his Eagles teams, retained WR Riley Cooper despite massive league/media pressure, and fielded Oregon teams that usually featured a number of white WRs and defensive players. A bit of an enigma, Kelly has also shown an affinity for quotabacks during this time period.

The biggest and only reason to root for the 49ers this season is in support of athletic QB Blaine Gabbert, who has a shot at rejuvenating his career. Gabbert will also be holding off BLM activist and recent Islam convert Collin Kaepernick, an insanely mediocre quotaback that will no doubt be the darling of liberal pundits this season. Journeyman Christ Ponder is the third stringer.

Other than that, the 49ers feature a prototypical caste roster. Hyper athletic TE Vance McDonald should be a favorite target of QB Gabbert, who is protected by oline starters in the athletic LT Joe Staley, Pro Bowl LG Zane Beadles, and C Daniel Kilgore. Garrett Celek and converted QB Blake Bell are the other back ups at TE, rookie swing tackle John Theus is an OL back up.

The defense is predictably pitch black aside from ST ace ILB Nick Bellore and Kelly-favorite DL Taylor Hart. The aptly named Marcus Ruch apparently wasn't good to make the team after having SIX preseason sacks, and will be stashed on the practice squad alongside converted OL Alex Balducci.

QB Blaine Gabbert
TE Vance McDonald
LT Joe Staley
LG Zane Beadles
C Daniel Kilgore

Number of White players on 53 man roster: 14
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Hall of Famer
Oct 19, 2009
Somewhere near Kansas City, MO


Hall of Famer
Oct 3, 2008
Suffolk County, NY


Feb 23, 2013
New York
NFC West Team W L T
Pct PF PA Net Pts TD Home Road Div Pct Conf Pct Non-Conf Streak Last 5
Seattle Seahawks 7 3 1 .682 224 187 37 23 5-0 2-3-1 1-1-1 .500 3-3-1 .500 4-0 1L 3-2
Arizona Cardinals 4 6 1 .409 245 228 17 29 3-2-1 1-4 2-1-1 .625 3-4-1 .438 1-2 2L 1-3-1
Los Angeles Rams 4 8 0 .333 180 262 -82 18 1-4 3-4 2-1 .667 3-5 .375 1-3 3L 1-4
San Francisco 49ers 1 11 0 .083 234 370 -136 26 1-5 0-6 1-3 .250 1-8 .111 0-3 11L 0-5

Pumpernickel is all but gone for next season. He does, however, have enough money to start his own car wash.