Phall
Master
The Wolverines have passed through the wake of the short-lived Rich Rodriguez era. Say what you will about Rodriguez, but despite ushering in blacks to the quarterback and lineman positions, he also oversaw many other racial anomalies, like white safeties, receivers, and even McGuffie at running back for a year. Anyway, Michigan is just about reloaded from the standard attrition of a coaching change. New coach Fred Flintstone, I mean Brady Hoke, is opening up the purse strings for the recruits with the highest star rating, meaning a very black roster with the whites squeezed onto the middle of the field, although whites that are hell-bent on the school are welcome to walk on.
Linebacker Jake Ryan, who would have been an all-conference shoe-in, is out until October with a busted knee. He has another year left to heal before being passed over in the draft by combine freaks of the week and eventually settling into life as a decent NFL starter.
Drew Dileo is a small little fireball and possibly the last white receiver this team will ever have. He won't be much of a field presence because the playbook doesn't really use the slot much, but Dileo should get a couple balls thrown at him per game and inevitably turn one into a home run. Then again, Michigan does not really have any good receivers for competition, so you never know. More importantly, Dileo will return all the punts.
The starting linemen are Michael Schofield, future first rounder Taylor Lewan, Kyle Kalis, Jack Miller, and possibly even unrated walk-on Graham Glasgow, who is said to be ahead of black Chris Bryant for the top unit. Brady Hoke has searched far and wide to find some black high school linemen, so you won't see another line this racist any time soon.
Five white starters (all linemen) on offensive. Dileo and fullback Joe Kerrigan will play.
On defense, Keith Heitzman is the starting SDE, and his understudies are also both white. Desmond Morgan will anchor the linebackers, and Brennen Beyer might take Jake Ryan's place until he heals. That means two to three white starters overall, for a total of eight out of 22.
I should also mention black quarterback Devin Gardner. He received a redshirt exception after appeal and will be the starter for the next two years. He is slower and stronger than Denard Robinson, like most people. Gardner is "dual threat", but the depth chart at QB is very thin. Michigan would probably like to redshirt Hoke's first quarterback, Shane Morris, who will end the team's black quarterback phase. So, the staff will protect Gardner and keep him in the pocket. The problem is that he's not very accurate, plus his receivers are below-average, but at least his line will give him plenty of time. Gardner isn't on any Heisman hype lists or NFL draft boards yet, but that could change very quickly if he plays modestly and the team wins a few televised games.
Schedule highlights include home games vs. Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Ohio State and away matchups against Penn State and Michigan State. I imagine they'll drop a couple of those, but it's considered a pretty friendly schedule. Vegas over/under is 9.5 wins, meaning the expectation is to get to a decent non-BCS bowl after losing two weeks in a row to Ohio State. This would have been inspiration for endless bitching from Michigan's fans, who generally expect to win every game every season. Too many years of this basically drove Lloyd Carr into retirement, but Carr buried the program so far on his way out that his 9-3 seasons are looking pretty juicy once again.
For CF fans, I'd rate this team as a 3/10. Michigan, along with Stanford, Northwestern, and Notre Dame, is one of the few schools that insist on slightly higher athlete admission standards than the base level of non-retardation. These schools all do a pretty good job of keeping their players from becoming criminals that make the national news, which is surely no coincidence. So they've got that going for them. But the black quarterback hype and the lack of white players who will get their names called really outweigh the positives. Sadly, I don't see this score improving very much in the future.
Linebacker Jake Ryan, who would have been an all-conference shoe-in, is out until October with a busted knee. He has another year left to heal before being passed over in the draft by combine freaks of the week and eventually settling into life as a decent NFL starter.
Drew Dileo is a small little fireball and possibly the last white receiver this team will ever have. He won't be much of a field presence because the playbook doesn't really use the slot much, but Dileo should get a couple balls thrown at him per game and inevitably turn one into a home run. Then again, Michigan does not really have any good receivers for competition, so you never know. More importantly, Dileo will return all the punts.
The starting linemen are Michael Schofield, future first rounder Taylor Lewan, Kyle Kalis, Jack Miller, and possibly even unrated walk-on Graham Glasgow, who is said to be ahead of black Chris Bryant for the top unit. Brady Hoke has searched far and wide to find some black high school linemen, so you won't see another line this racist any time soon.
Five white starters (all linemen) on offensive. Dileo and fullback Joe Kerrigan will play.
On defense, Keith Heitzman is the starting SDE, and his understudies are also both white. Desmond Morgan will anchor the linebackers, and Brennen Beyer might take Jake Ryan's place until he heals. That means two to three white starters overall, for a total of eight out of 22.
I should also mention black quarterback Devin Gardner. He received a redshirt exception after appeal and will be the starter for the next two years. He is slower and stronger than Denard Robinson, like most people. Gardner is "dual threat", but the depth chart at QB is very thin. Michigan would probably like to redshirt Hoke's first quarterback, Shane Morris, who will end the team's black quarterback phase. So, the staff will protect Gardner and keep him in the pocket. The problem is that he's not very accurate, plus his receivers are below-average, but at least his line will give him plenty of time. Gardner isn't on any Heisman hype lists or NFL draft boards yet, but that could change very quickly if he plays modestly and the team wins a few televised games.
Schedule highlights include home games vs. Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Ohio State and away matchups against Penn State and Michigan State. I imagine they'll drop a couple of those, but it's considered a pretty friendly schedule. Vegas over/under is 9.5 wins, meaning the expectation is to get to a decent non-BCS bowl after losing two weeks in a row to Ohio State. This would have been inspiration for endless bitching from Michigan's fans, who generally expect to win every game every season. Too many years of this basically drove Lloyd Carr into retirement, but Carr buried the program so far on his way out that his 9-3 seasons are looking pretty juicy once again.
For CF fans, I'd rate this team as a 3/10. Michigan, along with Stanford, Northwestern, and Notre Dame, is one of the few schools that insist on slightly higher athlete admission standards than the base level of non-retardation. These schools all do a pretty good job of keeping their players from becoming criminals that make the national news, which is surely no coincidence. So they've got that going for them. But the black quarterback hype and the lack of white players who will get their names called really outweigh the positives. Sadly, I don't see this score improving very much in the future.
