Deadlift
Hall of Famer
After having returned home from a very touching funeral service (nary a dry eye in the room; A lot of great salt-of-the-Earth people in attendance as well), where I was reflecting about all the great memories and times together, and having sadness and grieving for a wonderful person. For me, It's the images of memories flashing through my mind that invariably bring the tears, images of kind acts and family reunions, and family reunion trips...
like the one that we took to the NC coast, 17 or so years ago. I remember collecting rocks and shells - from the beach and putting them in jars - like they were "all diamonds" or something (my "bling" moment?).. I was dumb! But, as far as I remember, no one really chastised me. A good memory was when we first got to the coast, however, and ate at a seafood restaurant (that one of my family members ate at before and said it was good).. I stuffed my face with all kinds of seafood, and, on top of all that, I had Manhattan Clam Chowder for the first time (I had an "adventurous" moment..) and it tasted good. Also, I probably had two bottles of Root Beer which happened on around three of these trips. It's really not hard to chug down a few bottles, and, from what I understand, it's pretty common for people going to restaurants to have their coke or tea refilled (or multiple glasses/bottles brought to them). A typical bottle of Root Beer isn't huge by any means. Anyhow, I stuffed myself to the point that it nearly "came up".. My stomach was really inflated and sore, and it's memorable (soreness usually is).. I ate a bunch of fried shrimp with the good cocktail sauce that restaurants usually have (I forget if it was an "all you can eat" deal, but it probably was). On this trip, I will be honest and say that the swimming was rather ho-hum (and I was pretty scared of the possibility of sharks as I was a small boy then, a late-bloomer; Probably part of the reason I was scalping the sandy beach for "collectables!"), and some of my older cousins were getting yelled-at because they were taking food, like unopened bags of potato chips, from other people's rental cabins without asking. Why did we rent these small cabins/cabanas or whatever you call them? It was a 7-hour drive to the coast!! To a child, that equals ULTIMATE BOREDOM. My "near-hurl" moment was likely inevitable.. food is exciting, even moreso, after a drive like that. We stayed at the coast for a week. This trip had "effort/ambition" behind it, but, in retrospect, the family admitted that it wasn't really their cup-of-tea (also, some people had gotten a bad sunburn, that's never good), and I can't really disagree, but at least we were together and trying.
NOTE: I can be shy in familial settings.. it's always been that way, but I occasionally have breakthroughs and I may have had one today).
I was able to be my natural-self in that little Catholic church in a smallish, economically-havocked, Southern town with nice rolling hills aplenty. In fact, the church and other accompanying buildings, some very upscale-looking, are on a large hill. The church had wooden walls on it's interior that I could lean against in the row I sort of "chosen" in an instant - (rather than being near the front of the 3rd row) - and I grieved and tried to pay my respects, and wasn't concerned that I was shedding tears in a public setting. Even though I may have been "semi-hidden" or maybe I'm projecting that people may think that -- I had an excellent view of the service and of those parties' reading scripture at the head of the church.
Following the casket as it was being whisked down the church floor - and out of the church - after the service, I've never felt more "loose." That Snapshot, that feeling, is permanently-ingrained now. My solemn face, and red eyes, looking at quite a few people that I don't even know (since I was from the 4th row, I was looking at the people that were in the rows' behind me, still standing) and just the feeling of "being free." Maybe it's hard to explain. I'll try.. At that instant, during the walk down the middle of the little church, I didn't feel socially-awkward in a familial setting, and this was a smooth moment of utter and complete realness and my body-language and walking felt somber, yet purposeful. This particular service, this specific situation, was only going to occur once.. it wasn't going to be done "over again".. There was something, indeed.
Part of it was, I think.. I just wasn't "AFRAID OF JUDGEMENT!" I had to try and pay my respects and just live-the-moment, but I didn't put pressure on myself either. Heck, I shed more tears than some of the ladies and I'm not ashamed to admit it. My dad is TOUGH, and he seemed to have been "moved" as well, more than usual for sure and THAT'S FINE. As I look at more pictures and reflect, I will doubtless shed more tears. So be it.. It's not that I think people should "physically live forever" or anything, it's the memories that trigger it. My head was sore all day, probably some inevitable stress, but, after writing about my day, that being Tuesday - February 8th - I feel significantly better. I'm not a perfect person.
Message to DWFs:
"There was something, indeed."
And, it was much more significant than "my corporation" being an LSU or NC State.. "my corporation" being the Pittsburgh Steelers or Chicago Bears. Please, Love your own and don't be drunk; Stop raising "your kids" to be drunk. Don't allow "your daughters" to cheerlead for an alien entity that only means them harm and destruction.
like the one that we took to the NC coast, 17 or so years ago. I remember collecting rocks and shells - from the beach and putting them in jars - like they were "all diamonds" or something (my "bling" moment?).. I was dumb! But, as far as I remember, no one really chastised me. A good memory was when we first got to the coast, however, and ate at a seafood restaurant (that one of my family members ate at before and said it was good).. I stuffed my face with all kinds of seafood, and, on top of all that, I had Manhattan Clam Chowder for the first time (I had an "adventurous" moment..) and it tasted good. Also, I probably had two bottles of Root Beer which happened on around three of these trips. It's really not hard to chug down a few bottles, and, from what I understand, it's pretty common for people going to restaurants to have their coke or tea refilled (or multiple glasses/bottles brought to them). A typical bottle of Root Beer isn't huge by any means. Anyhow, I stuffed myself to the point that it nearly "came up".. My stomach was really inflated and sore, and it's memorable (soreness usually is).. I ate a bunch of fried shrimp with the good cocktail sauce that restaurants usually have (I forget if it was an "all you can eat" deal, but it probably was). On this trip, I will be honest and say that the swimming was rather ho-hum (and I was pretty scared of the possibility of sharks as I was a small boy then, a late-bloomer; Probably part of the reason I was scalping the sandy beach for "collectables!"), and some of my older cousins were getting yelled-at because they were taking food, like unopened bags of potato chips, from other people's rental cabins without asking. Why did we rent these small cabins/cabanas or whatever you call them? It was a 7-hour drive to the coast!! To a child, that equals ULTIMATE BOREDOM. My "near-hurl" moment was likely inevitable.. food is exciting, even moreso, after a drive like that. We stayed at the coast for a week. This trip had "effort/ambition" behind it, but, in retrospect, the family admitted that it wasn't really their cup-of-tea (also, some people had gotten a bad sunburn, that's never good), and I can't really disagree, but at least we were together and trying.
NOTE: I can be shy in familial settings.. it's always been that way, but I occasionally have breakthroughs and I may have had one today).
I was able to be my natural-self in that little Catholic church in a smallish, economically-havocked, Southern town with nice rolling hills aplenty. In fact, the church and other accompanying buildings, some very upscale-looking, are on a large hill. The church had wooden walls on it's interior that I could lean against in the row I sort of "chosen" in an instant - (rather than being near the front of the 3rd row) - and I grieved and tried to pay my respects, and wasn't concerned that I was shedding tears in a public setting. Even though I may have been "semi-hidden" or maybe I'm projecting that people may think that -- I had an excellent view of the service and of those parties' reading scripture at the head of the church.
Following the casket as it was being whisked down the church floor - and out of the church - after the service, I've never felt more "loose." That Snapshot, that feeling, is permanently-ingrained now. My solemn face, and red eyes, looking at quite a few people that I don't even know (since I was from the 4th row, I was looking at the people that were in the rows' behind me, still standing) and just the feeling of "being free." Maybe it's hard to explain. I'll try.. At that instant, during the walk down the middle of the little church, I didn't feel socially-awkward in a familial setting, and this was a smooth moment of utter and complete realness and my body-language and walking felt somber, yet purposeful. This particular service, this specific situation, was only going to occur once.. it wasn't going to be done "over again".. There was something, indeed.
Part of it was, I think.. I just wasn't "AFRAID OF JUDGEMENT!" I had to try and pay my respects and just live-the-moment, but I didn't put pressure on myself either. Heck, I shed more tears than some of the ladies and I'm not ashamed to admit it. My dad is TOUGH, and he seemed to have been "moved" as well, more than usual for sure and THAT'S FINE. As I look at more pictures and reflect, I will doubtless shed more tears. So be it.. It's not that I think people should "physically live forever" or anything, it's the memories that trigger it. My head was sore all day, probably some inevitable stress, but, after writing about my day, that being Tuesday - February 8th - I feel significantly better. I'm not a perfect person.
Message to DWFs:
"There was something, indeed."
And, it was much more significant than "my corporation" being an LSU or NC State.. "my corporation" being the Pittsburgh Steelers or Chicago Bears. Please, Love your own and don't be drunk; Stop raising "your kids" to be drunk. Don't allow "your daughters" to cheerlead for an alien entity that only means them harm and destruction.