Obama is a weak little Steve Urkel-kid wannabe nerdboy who would get jumped on a daily basis (even at a WHITE school, haha) if he were a high school kid. He'd deserve it too, because unlike actual nerds (who are at least smart) Obama doesn't seem terribly bright considering he's the President (he doesn't seem any brighter than GW, anyway), and besides that he's a patronizing phony.
Putin -- a trained killer -- would eat Obama's heart for breakfast and then plant himself in front of Obama's living room television to watch Gilligan's Island, not understanding what is going on but anyway feeling sorry for America because Joe "I'm more boring than your dad" Biden will be president now.
Then he'd go to Obama's office desk and replace the "congratulations on your theft -- er, victory" fruit basket from Hillary Clinton with a framed photo of Lenin.