2007 Bears

Don Wassall

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The Bears are nearly bereft of white players on offense, and they don't have a single white backup on defense â€â€￾ but they do open the new season with four white starters on defense, quite "daring" for today's NFL with its traditional all-black or nearly all-black starting defenses.

The middle linebacker is the great Brian Urlacher, considered by many to be the best defensive player in the game. After a prolonged period where it looked like linebacker was going to be yet another positions that whites were deemed unable to play, the emergence of Urlacher has coincided with a bit of a white revival at the position. Another factor is the continuing disappearance of fullbacks, the position many standout white high school tailbacks have been forced to play in college. Now more of them seem to be ending up at linebacker (heaven forbid they should actually be allowed to remain tailbacks in college).

Lining up next to Urlacher at SLB is the effective Hunter Hillenmeyer, the fifth year man out of Vanderbilt who has kept his starting job despite often being criticized by the drunk white fans who apparently can't bear the thought of more than one white starter at linebacker.

After being all but run out of Washington by Joe Gibbs â€â€￾ who is a fervent Caste System disciple in his second, much less successful go-round as the Redskins coach â€â€￾ Adam Archuleta is the new Bears starter at strong safety. Like Hillenmeyer, Archuleta is another white player who is widely disliked by white fans who seem to not want white players at any position except quarterback unless they are superstars.

After being injured his rookie season, Dusty Dvoraceck out of Oklahoma has won the nose tackle job. He becomes a rare white starter on the interior defensive line. Curious that this is the case given that tackle is first and foremost a strength position and white men totally dominate both strength and endurance events such as the Strongman competitions. "Lack of speed" is the excuse always given for the miniscule number of whites at cornerback, safety, wide receiver and tailback; what's the excuse for the lack of whites at strength positions in the NFL?

On offense, the big story is that Mike Hass made the 53 man roster as Chicago's sixth wideout. What's pathetic is that such an obvious and proven talent should even have to fight for a roster spot.

Hass was the runaway winner of the 2005 Biletnikoff Award as college football's best receiver. Hass caught 90 passes for 1,532 yards and 6 touchdowns in his senior year at Oregon State despite being double-teamed most of the time. As a junior Hass went 86/1,379/7 and in his sophomore year he caught 44 passes for 1,013 yards and 7 TDs.

In short, he was unstoppable, even though he was forced to go the obligatory route of being a walk-on despite being a receiving star in high school. Only blacks are recruited (given scholarships) by the major programs to play wide receiver, running back and cornerback. Whites, no matter how talented, with few exceptions simply are not allowed to play those positions at big programs unless they go the long and difficult route of trying to make a team as a walk-on.

Hass played against the same competition in the Pac 10 as did Reggie Bush, the nation's best college running back in 2005. But there the similarities end. Bush was the beneficiary of non-stop media coverage and was turned into an extremely rich mega-star even before he played a down in a regular season NFL game. Hass, the best college wide receiver, was barely drafted, going to the Saints in the 6th round, and, even though by all local media accounts was excelling in training camp, was waived by Sean Payton in the final round of cuts. He subsequently spent 2006 on the Bears practice squad.

All other recent Biletnikoff Award winners except Hass were drafted in the first or second round, and all have received ample opportunities in the NFL. Only Mike Hass was drafted late and only Hass was instantly cut without being given any opportunity to play by the team drafting him.

A receiver who ended up on the Bears 2007 practice squad is David Ball, who broke Jerry Rice's college career mark for receiving touchdowns in 2006 while playing for New Hampshire. Blessed with nice size and great hands and leaping ability, Ball wasn't drafted, because of the tired old "too slow" excuse. Ball is as fast as Rice was in college and both played for smaller football programs. But Rice was drafted in the first round and Ball was ignored. Almost everyone will laugh at the thought of comparing the collegiate accomplishments of Rice and Ball, which only shows how well conditioned football fans have been to believe that whites are incapable of excelling at most positions in the NFL.

Rex Grossman is Chicago's much-maligned starting quarterback. Grossman was wildly inconsistent in 2006, but it was his first season as a starter after two years of injuries, and he had more than a few strong games. Grossman has plenty of ability and it would be surprising if he doesn't have a very good 2007 season and gets the drunk white fans and the media off his back.

Brian Griese and Kyle Orton back up Grossman.

Besides Grossman LT John Tait is the only other white starter. All of the other offensive linemen are non-white except for Patrick Mannelly, who serves as the long snapper, and All-Pro center Olin Kreutz, who is white and Hawaiian.

'07 first round draft choice Greg Olsen is the starting tight end of the near future, maybe as early as this season. He has the speed to play wide receiver and great hands and it's only a matter of time before Desmond Clark, the lumbering black incumbent at TE, takes a seat for good behind Olsen.

NUMBER OF WHITE STARTERS: 6 (7 counting Kreutz)

APPROXIMATE NUMBER OF WHITE PLAYERS ON 53 MAN ROSTER: 13

GRADE: D-
 

backrow

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damn... promising young tackle is lost for a season... again - Dusty Dvoracek tore his acl
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CHICAGO--The Chicago Bears' embarrassing loss to the Detroit Lions on Sunday may result in some personnel changes on the offensive side of the ball. According to coach Lovie Smith, there's a good chance fans will get their first glimpse of backup quarterback Kyle Orton on Sunday when he replaces the ineffective Cedric Benson at the starting tailback position.

"Kyle is a good player who works hard for us in practice and deserves a shot on Sundays," Smith told reporters today. "He's quick, he has good vision, and he takes a cerebral approach to the game that's been missing for us this season. What's that? No, Brian Griese will still be the starting quarterback. Kyle will be replacing Cedric Benson at running back. Yes, the fat one who can't beat a linebacker in a foot race."

Smith acknowledged that the team has other options at the running back position, but none offer a significant improvement over Benson.

"We have the tiny, wimpy Garrett Wolfe and we have Adrian 'Not that Adrian Peterson' Peterson," said Smith. "And that's about it. With Kyle, at least we're getting someone who, as a quarterback, can deal with the pressure of being pursued by defenders and also has a deep, thorough understanding of our playbook. He might get tackled a lot, but at least he'll have an excuse: he's a quarterback. He has no business being out there."

Benson, who was handed the starting job last season after the Bears traded Thomas Jones to the Jets, has averaged a paltry 3.2 yards per carry this year. Though the offensive line shares some of the blame, it's Benson who has underachieved the most in the eyes of the coaches and front office.

"We showed a lot of confidence in Cedric by naming him the starter in the offseason," Smith said. "Unfortunately he has not performed up to our expectations. It's starting to look like we should have kept Thomas and traded Cedric. Although Thomas is doing sh*tty in New York, so maybe we should have unloaded both of them and just gone with a Wolfe-Peterson, thunder and lighting-type set up. Actually we could still do that, but that's something you wait until your last day on the job to try."

Orton started 14 games in his rookie season, and led the Bears on an eight-game winning streak despite finishing with the lowest quarterback rating in the NFL. Now, he may be forced into the starting job once again, but not the one he expected.

"I really wanted a crack at that starting quarterback job," said Orton. "But if the team needs me at tailback, I'll play tailback. Personally I think Cedric is the right guy for the job, but the coaches see it differently. I guess he's sort of like the Rex Grossman of tailbacks, and I'm sort of like the Brian Griese of tailbacks. And Griese is like the Kyle Orton of quarterbacks, in the sense that he has a low passer rating and will probably end up being replaced by Rex Grossman."

Upon hearing that he may be replaced by a quarterback, Benson was visibly upset.

"That's stupid. There's no way I should be benched in favor of a quarterback," Benson said. "I shouldn't be benched at all, frankly. I'm doing a good enough job. It's just that there are no holes opening. Do you think Kyle Orton is going to find any holes? He's probably just going to take the hand-off and fall to the ground. Wouldn't you rather have somebody who can take that hand-off, rumble for seven or eight yards, and then fumble it?"

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.
 

White Shogun

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Had me going there for a minute..

I find it ironic that every fantasy piece I read about Brian Berrian talks about him hurting the team with dropped balls, with Haas inactive and Ball relegated to the practice squad. You really gotta wonder what criteria the coaches are using to select their starting players, by that I mean how do they bullsh*t each other enough watching film to say Berrian is the guy, let's put those other two on the practice squad.
 
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highschoolcoach said:
CHICAGO--The Chicago Bears' embarrassing loss to the Detroit Lions on Sunday may result in some personnel changes on the offensive side of the ball. According to coach Lovie Smith, there's a good chance fans will get their first glimpse of backup quarterback Kyle Orton on Sunday when he replaces the ineffective Cedric Benson at the starting tailback position.

"Kyle is a good player who works hard for us in practice and deserves a shot on Sundays," Smith told reporters today. "He's quick, he has good vision, and he takes a cerebral approach to the game that's been missing for us this season. What's that? No, Brian Griese will still be the starting quarterback. Kyle will be replacing Cedric Benson at running back. Yes, the fat one who can't beat a linebacker in a foot race."

Smith acknowledged that the team has other options at the running back position, but none offer a significant improvement over Benson.

"We have the tiny, wimpy Garrett Wolfe and we have Adrian 'Not that Adrian Peterson' Peterson," said Smith. "And that's about it. With Kyle, at least we're getting someone who, as a quarterback, can deal with the pressure of being pursued by defenders and also has a deep, thorough understanding of our playbook. He might get tackled a lot, but at least he'll have an excuse: he's a quarterback. He has no business being out there."

Benson, who was handed the starting job last season after the Bears traded Thomas Jones to the Jets, has averaged a paltry 3.2 yards per carry this year. Though the offensive line shares some of the blame, it's Benson who has underachieved the most in the eyes of the coaches and front office.

"We showed a lot of confidence in Cedric by naming him the starter in the offseason," Smith said. "Unfortunately he has not performed up to our expectations. It's starting to look like we should have kept Thomas and traded Cedric. Although Thomas is doing sh*tty in New York, so maybe we should have unloaded both of them and just gone with a Wolfe-Peterson, thunder and lighting-type set up. Actually we could still do that, but that's something you wait until your last day on the job to try."

Orton started 14 games in his rookie season, and led the Bears on an eight-game winning streak despite finishing with the lowest quarterback rating in the NFL. Now, he may be forced into the starting job once again, but not the one he expected.

"I really wanted a crack at that starting quarterback job," said Orton. "But if the team needs me at tailback, I'll play tailback. Personally I think Cedric is the right guy for the job, but the coaches see it differently. I guess he's sort of like the Rex Grossman of tailbacks, and I'm sort of like the Brian Griese of tailbacks. And Griese is like the Kyle Orton of quarterbacks, in the sense that he has a low passer rating and will probably end up being replaced by Rex Grossman."

Upon hearing that he may be replaced by a quarterback, Benson was visibly upset.

"That's stupid. There's no way I should be benched in favor of a quarterback," Benson said. "I shouldn't be benched at all, frankly. I'm doing a good enough job. It's just that there are no holes opening. Do you think Kyle Orton is going to find any holes? He's probably just going to take the hand-off and fall to the ground. Wouldn't you rather have somebody who can take that hand-off, rumble for seven or eight yards, and then fumble it?"

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.
lol
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That's classic.
 

Don Wassall

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From a fantasy site: TE <STRONG style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal">Desmond Clark[/b] signed a two-year contract extension that will keep him in a Bear uniform through 2010. It's clear that the Bears view him as a vital role player in their frequent two-TE formations. Chances are that <?:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:pLACE w:st="on">Clark</ST1:pLACE>'s presence will continue to limit TE <STRONG style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal">Greg Olsen's[/b] explosiveness and upside.


It wouldn't be surprising if the Bears complete the tumble in '08 from Super Bowl runner-up to bottom feeder in just two seasons.LimitingOlsen by teaming him with Clarkis pure idiocy, reminiscent of letting the team'stwo potential best WRs, Mike Hass and David Ball, rot on the bench in favor of a gaggle of losers.
 

Thrashen

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"Limiting Olsen by teaming him with Clark is pure idiocy, reminiscent of letting the team's two potential best WRs, Mike Hass and David Ball, rot on the bench in favor of a gaggle of losers."

Haha, to refer to that group as "losers" would be a compliment. What Chicago had at WR the past couple seasons has been some of the worst bums ever collected onto one team. The media blamed Grossman for their complete inability to get seperation...well, maybe a little was Rex too
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