I had the impulse to post this "article" but I just recently
figured out why. It is a shining example of what the white male in
sports is up against. This sorry excuse for satire is comprehensive in
every negative cliche regarding the white athlete. Thank God for
CF.
In an effort to bring national attention to the contributions of white
basketball players, the NBA is honoring those Caucasians who have
made a contribution to the game of basketball in March.
"White History Month has been a long time coming," said
commissioner David Stern. "This is a time to for the NBA to celebrate
the many achievements and contributions of white, non-athletic,
spot-up jump shooters. We're paying tribute to inspirational whities
from the past, like John Havlicek and Larry Bird, as well as those
current players who will continue to make history well into the
future, such as Kurt Hinrich, Mike Miller and Brent Barry."
NBA great Rick Barry, who headlines of a list of former white players
who will speak at several engagements throughout the month, says
the NBA has come a long way since the prejudice that marred the
60's, 70's and 80's.
"Back in the 60's, we had it rough. Real rough. We were
discriminated against by a lot of black players almost every day.
They always made fun of the color of our skin. I remember Dr. J
always called me "Glue". I hated it. It made me wish I had black skin.
Sometimes it feels like we didn't even exist. Go look at the
record booksâ€â€white people are almost completely absent from
them."
Along with hosting speaking engagements by white players, the NBA
also plans to celebrate White History Month by playing white music
during games throughout March.
"We're going to mix things up," said Director of Arena Entertainment
Les Rossman. "Fans can expect to hear a little Jethro Tull and a lot
of John Denver. Maybe even some Steppenwolf or Dashboard
Confessional. Whatever we end up playing, we'd like to keep it pretty
edgy."
To further honor white players, the NBA will outlaw dunking. Also,
every team will also hold a 'Token White Guy" night, where a lucky
fan chosen in a drawing will get the opportunity to sit at the end of
the team's bench for an entire game.
Despite the spirit of celebration, March is putting some old white
players in a somber mood.
"Guys like Mike Miller, Dan Dickau, they don't know how hard we
used to have it. Oppression ran real thick, thick like maple
syrup. Maybe even thicker. Like maple syrup and honey mixed
together." said Bob Cousy. "There was this one time when we took a
charter bus to play New York. Well, with all the coaches, trainers and
players, we ran out of seats. Bill Russell asked me to get up, but I
thought if I did, I'd be giving in. So I refused to give up my seat. If I
remember right, he ended up sitting on K.C. Jones' lap. Russell
neverlooked at me the same, but I think I changed history."
Former Utah Jazz center Mark Eaton, who played in the 80's, also
spoke about tough times.
"Mostly it was the name calling that hurt. But somereally
sh*tty &n bsp;     ÂÂ
things happened too." said Eaton. "Once someone wrote "White
Ain't Alright" on my locker. Then there's the time they dipped a
vanilla ice cream cone in motor oil and made it eat it. Some nights I
just laid in bed, wondering how I was going to survive the hate."
While some white players may not realize how far the League has
come, there are guys like Wally Szczerbiak who appreciates the
sacrifices white players of the 60's, 70's and 80's made.
"I've heard stories, so I know it wasn't easy," said Szczerbiak. "One
of of the reasons I can throw on Blink 182 or Weezer in the locker
room is because of the white players who came before me. George
Mikan, Mike Gminski, Cherokee Parksâ€â€they all paved the way. Just
last week, I asked KG 'Wasup?' and you know what? He said 'Wasup?'
right back. Thirty years ago, that wouldn't have happened. Dr. J.
would have given me a swirlie or an atomic wedgie. We've come a
long way."
NBA Commissioner David Stern did say that the NBA will not honor
Memphis Grizzlies guard Jason Williams, who thinks he is black.
He also added that he's declared June as Mixed History Month, which
will be a time to celebrate the accomplishments of Mike Bibby, Jason
Kidd and Doug C
LinkEdited by: C Darwin
figured out why. It is a shining example of what the white male in
sports is up against. This sorry excuse for satire is comprehensive in
every negative cliche regarding the white athlete. Thank God for
CF.
In an effort to bring national attention to the contributions of white
basketball players, the NBA is honoring those Caucasians who have
made a contribution to the game of basketball in March.
"White History Month has been a long time coming," said
commissioner David Stern. "This is a time to for the NBA to celebrate
the many achievements and contributions of white, non-athletic,
spot-up jump shooters. We're paying tribute to inspirational whities
from the past, like John Havlicek and Larry Bird, as well as those
current players who will continue to make history well into the
future, such as Kurt Hinrich, Mike Miller and Brent Barry."
NBA great Rick Barry, who headlines of a list of former white players
who will speak at several engagements throughout the month, says
the NBA has come a long way since the prejudice that marred the
60's, 70's and 80's.
"Back in the 60's, we had it rough. Real rough. We were
discriminated against by a lot of black players almost every day.
They always made fun of the color of our skin. I remember Dr. J
always called me "Glue". I hated it. It made me wish I had black skin.
Sometimes it feels like we didn't even exist. Go look at the
record booksâ€â€white people are almost completely absent from
them."
Along with hosting speaking engagements by white players, the NBA
also plans to celebrate White History Month by playing white music
during games throughout March.
"We're going to mix things up," said Director of Arena Entertainment
Les Rossman. "Fans can expect to hear a little Jethro Tull and a lot
of John Denver. Maybe even some Steppenwolf or Dashboard
Confessional. Whatever we end up playing, we'd like to keep it pretty
edgy."
To further honor white players, the NBA will outlaw dunking. Also,
every team will also hold a 'Token White Guy" night, where a lucky
fan chosen in a drawing will get the opportunity to sit at the end of
the team's bench for an entire game.
Despite the spirit of celebration, March is putting some old white
players in a somber mood.
"Guys like Mike Miller, Dan Dickau, they don't know how hard we
used to have it. Oppression ran real thick, thick like maple
syrup. Maybe even thicker. Like maple syrup and honey mixed
together." said Bob Cousy. "There was this one time when we took a
charter bus to play New York. Well, with all the coaches, trainers and
players, we ran out of seats. Bill Russell asked me to get up, but I
thought if I did, I'd be giving in. So I refused to give up my seat. If I
remember right, he ended up sitting on K.C. Jones' lap. Russell
neverlooked at me the same, but I think I changed history."
Former Utah Jazz center Mark Eaton, who played in the 80's, also
spoke about tough times.
"Mostly it was the name calling that hurt. But somereally
sh*tty &n bsp;     ÂÂ
things happened too." said Eaton. "Once someone wrote "White
Ain't Alright" on my locker. Then there's the time they dipped a
vanilla ice cream cone in motor oil and made it eat it. Some nights I
just laid in bed, wondering how I was going to survive the hate."
While some white players may not realize how far the League has
come, there are guys like Wally Szczerbiak who appreciates the
sacrifices white players of the 60's, 70's and 80's made.
"I've heard stories, so I know it wasn't easy," said Szczerbiak. "One
of of the reasons I can throw on Blink 182 or Weezer in the locker
room is because of the white players who came before me. George
Mikan, Mike Gminski, Cherokee Parksâ€â€they all paved the way. Just
last week, I asked KG 'Wasup?' and you know what? He said 'Wasup?'
right back. Thirty years ago, that wouldn't have happened. Dr. J.
would have given me a swirlie or an atomic wedgie. We've come a
long way."
NBA Commissioner David Stern did say that the NBA will not honor
Memphis Grizzlies guard Jason Williams, who thinks he is black.
He also added that he's declared June as Mixed History Month, which
will be a time to celebrate the accomplishments of Mike Bibby, Jason
Kidd and Doug C
LinkEdited by: C Darwin
